(2006-12-18) — As the advocates of Hamas and Fatah, the armed political parties of the Palestinian Authority, shot at each other this weekend, President Mahmoud Abbas announced a new “Road Map for Peace” in the troubled region.
“First, we will build a protective fence around each Palestinian,” said Mr. Abbas in a written statement from his hidden bunker. “The fence must resist fire from AK-47s and rocket-propelled grenades as well as the blast of car bombs and suicide vests.”
The new personal fences would provide “an atmosphere of trust” for negotiations to produce a region with two political parties living peacefully side-by-side, the Palestinian leader said.
An unnamed spokesman for Hamas offered an alternative plan calling for “the destruction of the Zionist regime so that Hamas and Fatah partisans could live on opposite sides of the fence that now separates us from so-called Israeli territory.”
“This plan is cheaper,” the Hamas source said, “and has the added benefit of getting rid of the Jews who cause all of this violence.”
7 responses so far ↓
1 camojack // Dec 18, 2006 at 6:33 am
Just one very high wall…filled with water.
2 Scott Ott // Dec 18, 2006 at 6:37 am
New Road Map to Bring Peace Among Palestinians…
by Scott Ott(2006-12-18) — As the advocates of Hamas and Fatah, the armed political parties of the Palestinian Authority, shot at each other this weekend, President Mahmoud Abbas announced a new “Road Map for Peace†in the troubled region.“Firs…
3 Fred Sinclair // Dec 18, 2006 at 6:45 am
“….. getting rid of the Jews who cause all of this violence.â€
That’s precious. Whem I was stationed in Germany - no auto insurance company ever paid more than a maximum of 50% of any damages in an auto accident because under the law, regardless of the circumstances, you were responsible for half of the damages - because you were there. If you had been somewhere else there would have been no accident.
This is even richer; because the Jews exist, they are 100% responsible since if they weren’t there, the violence wouldn’t happen.
That uses the same logic that if you are killed by a stray shot during a holdup, it’s your fault; since if you hadn’t been there you wouldn’t have been shot.
Heirborn Ranger
4 onlineanalyst // Dec 18, 2006 at 7:26 am
I guess that the road map of Palestinian tunnels for funneling war-making materiel under formerly productive land is off the table.
5 Analchord // Dec 18, 2006 at 7:40 am
Going to the irony-formula well too often, are we Mr. Ott?
6 Pros and Cons » The Palestinian “Authority” has rapidly maturing voters. // Dec 18, 2006 at 11:43 am
[...] An election now would go over as a referendum on their misbegotten rule, just as the last election was one on Hamas. (And one wonders how they got where they are today.) Of course, Hamas’ alternatives are shoot the voters, boycott the elections and let Hamas take over all the security forces and bureaucracies again, or all out civil war. none of these are such great options for a movement wedded to its popular appeal. Crowds can move one, even if one holds them in contempt. Think George Orwell’s short story, Shooting an Elephant. If we are lucky, neither side will control a majority of the parliament, and they will have to work with clean, decent political persuasions for a change. Politics gets a deserved bad rap, but it sure beats “the cause”, “the struggle” and “the people”! It sure as Sam Hill beats jihad. [...]
7 gafisher // Dec 18, 2006 at 2:17 pm
It’s obvious; the solution to the Middle East problem is … wait, did I just hear a trumpet?
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