(2006-01-21) — When Usama bin Laden, in his most recent threatening audiotape, recommended William Blum’s five year old book, The Rogue State, its sales rank on Amazon.com jumped from 209,000 to 20. That success has launched a new business for al Qaeda that could challenge the dominance of Oprah Winfrey in the book club industry.
Members of Usama’s Book Club will receive personal recommendations from the charismatic leader, as well as the opportunity to review the club’s latest featured selection every 30 days “at no risk to life or limb, as long as you keep the book and pay the invoice.”
The announcement comes at a difficult time for Oprah’s Book Club, following revelations that James Frey, author of Oprah-pick ‘A Million Little Pieces‘, fabricated parts of his real-life story.
“The controversy got our attention,” said Mr. bin Laden, “and we thought, ‘Here is opportunity. Who knows more than al Qaeda about millions of little pieces?’”
“My mission is to make this the biggest book club in the world and get people reading great books again,” said Mr. Bin Laden on a reel-to-reel tape recording released today. “This is the first step in our ultimate plan to crush the billionaire imperialist infidel Oprah Winfrey, Allah be praised, and to take the reins of power myself as America’s media darling.”
Usama’s Book Club, like Oprah’s, will specialize in books “not usually sold as fiction,” such as The Rogue State, and works by Richard Clarke, Michael Moore and Sen. Hillary Clinton. The club will also help al Qaeda strengthen its database of “friends who share our ideas on politics, theology, underground living and how to roast a cave rat in wild herbs until it tastes almost as good as a goat.”
The book club represents phase one of the “establishment of the Islamic media caliphate” through Amasu Inc., Mr. bin Laden’s production company, which previously specialized in making audio recordings of his lectures that sound like vintage 1930s radio programs.
In the coming months, Amasu Inc. will launch a magazine called ‘U’ and distribute a new TV show to challenge Dr. Phil McGraw, whose TV career Oprah launched.
Dr. Zawahiri, the new program featuring Mr. bin Laden’s personal physician, Ayman al-Zawahiri, “will dish out relationship and health advice with a folksy, common sense approach that should endear him to America’s housewives.”
“It’s really about being the best you that you can be,” said Mr. Zawahiri in a news release, “I will school the infidel’s wife to overcome negative self-talk so that she can achieve a purpose-driven life in which she martyrs herself for the sake of jihad.”
0 responses so far ↓
1 Southern Appeal » The bin Laden book club // Jan 21, 2006 at 11:20 am
[...] Only on Scrappleface! PermaLink | | Trackback/Pingback (0) [...]
2 Decision ‘08 » Blog Archive » Which One Is The Parody? // Jan 21, 2006 at 4:08 pm
[...] One of this is from Scrappleface, the other from the Washington Post: When Usama bin Laden, in his most recent threatening audiotape, recommended William Blum’s five year old book, The Rogue State, its sales rank on Amazon.com jumped from 209,000 to 20. That success has launched a new business for al Qaeda that could challenge the dominance of Oprah Winfrey in the book club industry. [...]
3 Myopic Zeal :: OBL’s Book Club :: January :: 2006 // Jan 22, 2006 at 7:48 pm
[...] Scott Ott has the story. When Usama bin Laden, in his most recent threatening audiotape, recommended William Blum’s five year old book, The Rogue State, its sales rank on Amazon.com jumped from 209,000 to 20. That success has launched a new business for al Qaeda that could challenge the dominance of Oprah Winfrey in the book club industry. [...]
4 Pros and Cons » Poor Osama bin Laden. // Jan 23, 2006 at 10:43 am
[...] So, what does he do? He throws a Hail Mary media pass and hopes the West takes it, offering a truce, or hudna with the West in Afghanistan and Iraq in an attempt to save his last concentrated forces and also to take the spotlight off of Zarqawi. [...]
5 NIF // Jan 24, 2006 at 8:40 am
Department of Redundancy Department
Today’s dose of NIF - News, Interesting & Funny … It’s Kerry-180 Tuesday (+ Open Trackbacks)
6 CaNN :: We started it. // Jan 26, 2006 at 10:16 am
[...] SCRAPPLEFACE: “Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush Oprah” …. (scrappleface) [...]
7 Oprah Bird Flu 11 » Oprah Winfrey Show 4.16.96 // Feb 2, 2006 at 6:22 pm
[...] ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush OprahOprah will play herself. Bring it on! Comment by The Great Santini January 21, 2006 @ 5:40 pm ( Sigh .) I knew it was too good to be true. Only a day after his ave atque vale on another thread [...]
8 Bird Flu Oprah » GorillaMask.net: Tom Cruise going crazy on Oprah // Feb 3, 2006 at 1:37 pm
[...] ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush OprahOprah will play herself. Bring it on! Comment by The Great Santini January 21, 2006 @ 5:40 pm ( Sigh .) I knew it was too good to be true. Only a day after his ave atque vale on another thread [...]
9 Oprah and Avian Flu » GorillaMask.net: Tom Cruise going crazy on Oprah // Feb 9, 2006 at 5:40 pm
[...] ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush OprahOprah will play herself. Bring it on! Comment by The Great Santini January 21, 2006 @ 5:40 pm ( Sigh .) I knew it was too good to be true. Only a day after his ave atque vale on another thread [...]
10 Oprah Bird Flu 11 » ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush Oprah // Feb 10, 2006 at 1:40 am
[...] ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush OprahPingback by Oprah Bird Flu 11 Oprah Winfrey Show 4.16.96 February 2, 2006 @ 6:22 pm [ ] ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush OprahOprah will play herself. Bring it on! Comment [...]
11 Oprah and Avian Flu » ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush Oprah // Feb 15, 2006 at 2:01 am
[...] ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush OprahPingback by Oprah and Avian Flu GorillaMask.net: Tom Cruise going crazy on Oprah February 9, 2006 @ 5:40 pm [ ] ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush OprahPingback by Oprah [...]
12 Oprah Bird Flu » Bird Flu Face Masks - N95 // Feb 19, 2006 at 9:44 pm
[...] ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush OprahScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush OprahPingback by Oprah Bird Flu 11 Oprah Winfrey Show 4.16.96 February 2, 2006 @ 6:22 pm [ ] ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to [...]
13 Oprah and Avian Flu » Weblogs.com // Feb 20, 2006 at 2:15 pm
[...] ScrappleFace Bin Laden Starts Book Club, Vows to Crush OprahOnly a day after his ave atque vale on another thread [ ] Pingback by Oprah and Avian Flu GorillaMask.net: Tom Cruise going crazy on Oprah February 9, 2006 @ 5:40 pm [...]
14 Enily Drury // Feb 24, 2006 at 1:22 am
adault amateur video
ScrappleFace » B…