(2005-12-31) — In response to repeated requests from White House correspondents, the Bush administration today released a list of the president’s 2006 New Year’s resolutions.
Like most Americans’ resolutions, Mr. Bush’s involve weight loss, health, money, relationships and career concerns. The following is the unedited list.
“I, George Walker Bush, do resolve to accomplish the following in the year of our Lord, 2006 …
- Lose weight: Help the U.S. Senate replace about 1,800 pounds of excess fat with a similar amount of lean muscle.
- Exercise more: Specifically exercise my veto power over Congressional spending.
- Get Organized: Put liberal Republicans like Senators Olympia Snowe, Lincoln Chafee and Arlen Specter in their proper places and keep them there so I can quickly locate them if I ever need them.
- Get Out of Debt: Cut non-essential expenses like the National Endowment for the Arts, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, Amtrak, Department of Education, United Nations, aid to countries that vote against us at the U.N., local projects funded with federal tax dollars, and any non-military federal activity that supplants the rights and responsibilities of states and individuals.
- Quit Smoking: Stop burning ‘the base’ in an effort to satisfy the fringe.
- Listen More: Reauthorize 2002 executive order on NSA surveillance of terrorist phone calls and emails.
- Recycle More: Dust off those Reagan-era ideals about smaller government and use them.
- Learn New Languages: Specifically learn how to say “I accept your unconditional surrender” in Arabic, Korean, Farsi and Liberalese.
12 responses so far ↓
1 Common Sense Junction » Blog Archive » Common Sense Junction // Dec 31, 2005 at 9:51 am
[...] »» …Bush’s New Year Resolutions [...]
2 basil's blog // Dec 31, 2005 at 10:27 am
Picnic 12-31-2005
Items I found while perusing my blogroll
3 NoisyRoom.net » White House Releases Bush New Year’s Resolutions // Dec 31, 2005 at 4:51 pm
[...] Courtesy of ScrappleFace: [...]
4 Inoperable Terran » Yeah, that covers it // Jan 1, 2006 at 11:22 am
[...] Scott Ott suggests New Year’s resolutions for President Bush. Posted by Ian S. in [...]
5 Stop The ACLU » Blog Archive » New Year’s Sunday Funnies // Jan 1, 2006 at 12:08 pm
[...] Perish the Thought thinks it is funny that liberals are saying Surveillance Leak = Whistleblower?? Scrapleface finds Bush’s New Year’s Resolutions. The Nose on Your Face names The Person of the Year Stuck on Stupid has a New Year’s Linkfest [...]
6 Searchlight Crusade // Jan 2, 2006 at 7:14 pm
Links and Minifeatures 01 02 Monday
Another feminist legend bites the dust: Research Debunks ‘Barbie Ideal’
**********
Had my fi…
7 Preaching Politics // Jan 4, 2006 at 4:45 pm
ROUNDUP — 1/04/06
An hilarious item from Scrappleface: White House Releases BushÂ’s New YearÂ’s Resolutions.
8 LIBERTY BELLES » Bush’s New Year’s Resolutions // Jan 7, 2006 at 12:36 pm
[...] A few items on the list provided by Scrappleface: - Listen More: Reauthorize 2002 executive order on NSA surveillance of terrorist phone calls and emails. - Recycle More: Dust off those Reagan-era ideals about smaller government and use them. - Learn New Languages: Specifically learn how to say “I accept your unconditional surrender†in Arabic, Korean, Farsi and Liberalese. [...]
9 LIBERTY BELLES » Bush’s New Year’s Resolutions // Jan 7, 2006 at 12:36 pm
[...] A few items on the list provided by Scrappleface: - Listen More: Reauthorize 2002 executive order on NSA surveillance of terrorist phone calls and emails. - Recycle More: Dust off those Reagan-era ideals about smaller government and use them. - Learn New Languages: Specifically learn how to say “I accept your unconditional surrender†in Arabic, Korean, Farsi and Liberalese [...]
10 debt consolidation // Jun 9, 2006 at 6:10 pm
debt consolidation
debt consolidation
11 home equity line of credit // Jul 22, 2006 at 6:44 pm
home equity line of credit
home equity line of credit
12 Picnic 12-31-2005 « Basil’s Blog // Jul 30, 2009 at 8:33 pm
[...] ScrappleFace finds Dubya’s New Year’s resolutions [...]
You must log in to post a comment.