(2003-01-31) — Joe Paterno, the winningest coach in Division I-A college football history, today for the first time put a definite end point on his Penn State coaching career.
Mr. Paterno, age 76, signed what he is calling his “final contract” to coach the Nitanny Lions until the year 2084.
“It was a tough decision,” he [...]

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(2003-01-31) — The Internet has replaced TV as the predominant waste of time in America, according to a survey of people who are so bored they have time to answer survey questions.
Not only are Americans spending more time with the Internet than TV, radio or newspapers, 78 percent think the Web is just as devoid [...]

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(2003-01-31) — U.S. President George Bush admitted today that he’s pressing forward with plans to invade Iraq in order to acquire that nation’s potentially-vast supply of hydrogen. During this week’s state of the union address, Mr. Bush announced $1.2 billion in federal funding for development of hydrogen-fueled cars.
“Sure, Saddam’s an evil dictator who has weapons [...]

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(2003-01-30) — Former South African President Nelson Mandela said today he looks forward to celebrating his 1,075th birthday this coming July 21st.
The Nobel Peace Laureate earlier today accused U.S. President George Bush of wanting to attack Iraq to control its oil, which he said constitutes 64 percent of global production. But he soon forgot [...]

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(2003-01-30) — Former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno, recalling her handling of the Waco siege, said today that if she were president, Iraq would be engulfed in flames by now.
“What’s the hold up?” she rhetorically asked George Bush. “You’ve surrounded a pseudo-religious maniac who’s got dangerous weapons. Set the place on fire, Mr. President. Hussein’s [...]

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(2003-01-30) — The Republic of Iraq today announced it would co-sign a letter from eight European nations supporting U.S. plans to disarm Iraq.
A spokesman for Saddam Hussein said Iraq would stand with the ‘gang of eight’ against his own nation “in order to avoid being associated with the so-called Axis of Weasels- Germany and France.”
“There [...]

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(2003-01-29) — The Republican National Committee (RNC) today offered to fully fund former Illinois Sen. Carol Mosely-Braun’s run for the 2004 Democrat presidential nomination. Ms. Mosely-Braun said she’s headed to Iowa to test the waters for such an effort.
“We’re quite enthusiastic about her candidacy,” said an unnamed RNC insider. “We want Americans to hear her [...]

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