(2002-07-31) — Scientists at the US Nasal Observatory (USNO) say they are hot on the trail of a cure for a condition called “NPR Nose”. The syndrome, which affects newscasters from National Public Radio, causes a victim to sound like he has a small mammal jammed in his sinuses. Carl Castle, Mara Liasson, Robert Siegel [...]

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(2002-07-30) — After several dozen pilot whales beached themselves near Cape Cod, MA, for the second time in as many days, hundreds of volunteers who had rescued them the first time, suddenly slaughtered and began to eat the highly-social aquatic mammals.
“We suddenly realized that by rescuing the whales we were upsetting the delicate balance of [...]

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(2002-07-18) — Admitted Al Qaeda terrorist Zaccarias Moussaoui brought a federal judge to tears this morning as he tried to persuade her to allow him to plead guilty for his role in the September 11 attacks.
The judge at first insisted that Moussaoui take a week off to think about his plea.
“Listen,” said the judge, “you’ve [...]

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(2002-07-18) — In light of recent research suggesting three cups of coffee daily may prevent dementia, the coffee industry plans to reprise an old ad campaign. The ads, run in the 1980s, contained the lines Coffee calms you down and picks you up. It gives you the serenity to dream it and the vitality to [...]

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(2002-07-16) — Fragments of a hominid skull found in northeastern New Jersey last month, may be the missing link between apes and evolutionary anthropologists.
Dubbed “Paramus Man” or Homo Sciencia, the skull features a narrow cranial cavity and boney protrusions along the sides of the eyes. The protrusions give the appearance of blinders, like those [...]

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ScrappleFace is the nickname my Nan used for our dog — half german shepherd, half saint bernard — Mac. She called him that because he would eat anything that we wouldn’t. (We used to feed him live crayfish, among other things.)

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Here’s an excerpt from the first page of “All I Ever Needed to Know About Chicken Soup I Learned from the Celestine Women of Venus,” by Scott Ott
If you like it, click the Pay Pal button below and pay just $3.50 in one easy installment, and your 12-page bookette will be emailed to you (usually [...]

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