(2003-03-30) — The department of physical plant in Hell announced today the addition of a new wing on the eternal damnation complex to house President Saddam Hussein, Vice President Taha Yassin Ramadan and other top government officials.
“We’ve been big admirers of the Iraqi leadership all along, but now they’ve really outdone themselves,” said an unnamed spokesman, referring to the regime’s use of civilians as military shields, and suicide bombers to take advantage of the “weakness of mercy” displayed by U.S. and British troops.
“When Saddam and his boys get here,” said the spokesman, “I think they’ll find familiar surroundings. It will be a lot like Iraq under their regime, only more intense…and of course, everlasting.”