(2003-01-31) — The Internet has replaced TV as the predominant waste of time in America, according to a survey of people who are so bored they have time to answer survey questions.

Not only are Americans spending more time with the Internet than TV, radio or newspapers, 78 percent think the Web is just as devoid of socially-redeeming value as other media.
Online media companies report being delighted with the news.
“A couple of years ago,” said an unnamed industry spokesman, “we feared that the Net would never be more than a border-spanning, peer-to-peer network for learning, intellectual stimulation and alliance building. We’re delighted to hear that folks are just mindlessly frittering away the hours playing games, gaping at pornography and forwarding lame jokes to each other”
The online entertainment industry’s only area of concern is the threat posed by weblogs (or blogs) — free sites which often challenge, fact-check and lampoon the traditional purveyors of news.
“If blogging ever catches on, we’ll have to increase our editorial budgets, hire smarter reporters and do serious research,” the spokesman said. “Otherwise, we’ll look ridiculous on a daily basis.”