(2003-01-27) — U.S. President George Bush made an unannounced visit to a restaurant tonight to test potential lines for his state of the union speech before a live audience. Insiders report that the President has labored tirelessly over the precise wording of the speech at this crucial juncture in American history.
At about 8:15 p.m., Mr. Bush entered a local International House of Pancakes with no fanfare, gave a shrill whistle to get the attention of diners, then read selected lines from a pack of index cards. He put the “winners” in his right coat pocket, and the others in his left.
“The President heard that Jay Leno does the same thing before the Tonight Show,” said White House spokesman Ari Fleischer. “You know Congress will applaud tomorrow night no matter what he says, but that won’t tell him whether he’s reaching the hearts of the American people. So, here we are at IHOP.”
Among the lines tested:
-”Frankly, my fellow Americans, we need Saddam’s oil, that is…black gold…Texas tea.”
-”Tonight I’m offering 1,000 acres of Iraqi land to any American who will clear it, drill it, and live on it.”
-”I want to extend an olive branch to the Democrats. And that’s why my new economic plan includes a big tax break for Bill Clinton. That’s right poor folks, I’m giving the money to Bill.”
-”I’m announcing tonight the appointment of former Vice President Al Gore as our new ambassador to Iraq. His Baghdad office opens tomorrow morning.”