(2002-10-30) — In the hours following a Democrat campaign rally to celebrate the death of Sen. Paul Wellstone, D-MN, contributors flooded the phone banks and web site of the Democrat National Committee. The deluge of giving goes into a fund called “Buy a Vote for Fritz”.
“Every penny of these tax deductible donations will be used to buy candy, food, cigarettes, liquor and other voter education materials,” said DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe. “These memorial love offerings will enable us not only to drive the homeless to the polls but to purchase top-shelf beverages for them to enjoy on the way. We’ll also visit homes for the aged and mentally ill and play high-stakes Bingo, craps and roulette with them as part of our get-out-the-vote project.”
The DNC chairman acknowledged that Sen. Wellstone never used such techniques, “but since Paul’s moral compass is gone, we’ll have to do what comes naturally.”
State Democrats will also hire subcontractors to gather last minute absentee ballots from Indians who have never voted, and “people who have been disenfranchised solely because they lack a pulse.”
Mr. McAuliffe announced that Sen. Wellstone and seven others who died on the plane would be voting for former Sen. Walter F. Mondale by absentee ballot