Brad Pitt to Marry Jolie When Everyone Can
By Scott Ott, Editor-in-Chief, ScrappleFace.com
News Fairly Unbalanced. We Report. You Decipher.
(2006-09-09) — Film actor Brad Pitt today called on Congress to pass a Constitutional marriage amendment permitting any U.S. citizen to legally marry his girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.
The announcement comes a day after it was revealed that Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie will refrain from matrimony until such a legal status is available to anyone in any kind of relationship.
“I will consider tying the knot with Angie when everyone else in the country who wants to be married to anyone, including to Angie, is legally able,” the 42-year-old actor said. “Angie and I are average folks who only do things that everyone else can do. Since fornication and cohabitation are legally available to the common people, that’s what we’re doing.”
The couple has also decided to turn down multi-million dollar film deals “until the average American can also get them without discrimination on the basis of ability or commitment to the acting profession.”
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