(2002-10-28) — Walter Cronkite, the veteran CBS News anchor, waits behind bars tonight after the Federal government jailed him on charges of sedition. The arrest came after Mr. Cronkite gave an interview in Texas in which he criticized the Bush administration, and accused it of trying to start World War III.
All evidence of Cronkite’s interview with the Bryan-College Station Eagle has been erased, copies of the paper confiscated as they came off the press, and the paper’s web server shut down.
As he was dragged off to prison, Cronkite shouted, “They applauded as Hitler closed down the independent newspaper and television stations and only gave them his propaganda. When they did not rise up and say, ‘Give us a free press,’ they became just as guilty.”
On orders from the White House, none of the major networks covered the Cronkite story, nor did any of the national newspapers or…Wait…what are you doing in the ScrappleFace newsroom with those guns? Give me that keyboard back…hey!…lemme go…aaargh!….
IN THE TIME IT TOOK YOU TO READ THIS STORY, WE HAVE TRACED YOUR IP ADDRESS. WE HAVE UNITS ON THE WAY TO YOUR HOME OR OFFICE. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. — Thank You, Your Friends in the Federal Govt.
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