Amber Alert Issued for Missing Bush Swagger
By Scott Ott, Editor-in-Chief, ScrappleFace.com
News Fairly Unbalanced. We Report. You Decipher.
(2005-09-24) — The White House today issued an ‘Amber Alert’ in hopes of finding President George Bush’s missing swagger.
The Washington Post broke the news of the swagger loss, citing reports by potential Republican presidential candidates, pundits and anonymous White House sources.
Experts credit the swagger with almost single-handedly achieving a series of political victories during Mr. Bush’s first term. However, recent troubles with public opinion about Iraq, Social Security and the federal response to Hurricane Katrina all provide evidence that the swagger either has been misplaced or, possibly, has escaped.
The Justice Department announced a nationwide campaign to locate the straying swagger, including the printing of millions of milk cartons bearing a photo of President Bush in a flight suit on the deck of an aircraft carrier.
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, in a news conference today, encouraged the public to help in the search.
“If you have any clues about the disappearance of the president’s swagger,” Mr. Gonzalez said, “Bring ‘em on.”
Meanwhile, Republicans in Congress called for an investigation into recent bold public statements by Democrat Senators Hillary Clinton and John Kerry suggesting a possible connection between their behavior and the missing swagger.
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The Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/23/AR2005092302182.html?nav=rss_email/components
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