(2004-07-27) — When asked by a reporter what she hoped to do for her husband’s presidential candidacy during her speech at the Democrat convention tonight, Teresa Heinz-Kerry said, “Shove it.”

Indeed experts agree that, with flagging poll numbers, John Forbes Kerry’s campaign could use a shove.

According to DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe, Mrs. Heinz-Kerry’s “totally unscripted, candid, improvised, shoot-from-the-hip remarks” will be the highlight of the convention and should boost the TV audience to levels comparable to “some of your better home shopping programs and C-Span events.”

“With a personality like Teresa at his side, John Kerry doesn’t even need one of his own,” said Mr. McAuliffe. “She demonstrates the kind of attitude which the Heinz-Kerry White House will use to restore the bonds of friendship and civility between the U.S. and the rest of the United Nations.”

The party chairman added, “America loves a First Lady who always says the first thing that comes to her mind, often before that thing even arrives.”