Albright: ‘Rings’ Sequel Timed to Benefit Bush
By Scott Ott, Editor-in-Chief, ScrappleFace.com
News Fairly Unbalanced. We Report. You Decipher.
(2003-12-21) — Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright suggested today that the Bush administration influenced the timing of the release of the blockbuster movie ‘The Return of the King’ to boost the economy before the 2004 elections.
“In the first five days that movie has raked in $125 million,” said Ms. Albright. “And that doesn’t include popcorn, beverages and Sno-Caps. This is a major shot in the arm for the economy, and I find the timing suspicious. All three of these movies have been released during the Bush administration, and this one may create the economic tsunami that carries Bush to his second term.”
In related news, Democrat presidential candidate Dick Gephardt, who is boycotting ‘The Return of the King,’ said the film was a ‘miserable failure’ which sent high-paying American jobs to New Zealand.
Senator John F. Kerry, also rumored to be considering a White House bid, said, “This is a great day for America. Of course, I was one of the early supporters of adventure movies. And while George Bush can get the vicarious rush of watching a filmed battle sequence, I actually left some blood on the battlefield.”
Rival Wesley Clark said, “I support this movie, and recommend that people go to see it, but they should leave the theater as quickly as possible.”
Candidate Dennis Kucinich said, “I told you Bush was false. I told you he was tricksy.”
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URLs in this post:
‘The Return of the King’: http://www.lordoftherings.net/film/trilogy/
$125 million: http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsPackageArticle.jhtml?type=entertainmentNews&storyID=426659§ion=news
Dennis Kucinich: http://www.lordoftherings.net/legend/characters/
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