Science Seeks Cure for NPR Nose
By Scott Ott, Editor-in-Chief, ScrappleFace.com
News Fairly Unbalanced. We Report. You Decipher.
(2002-07-31) — Scientists at the US Nasal Observatory (USNO) say they are hot on the trail of a cure for a condition called “NPR Nose”. The syndrome, which affects newscasters from National Public Radio, causes a victim to sound like he has a small mammal jammed in his sinuses. Carl Castle, Mara Liasson, Robert Siegel and Susan Stamberg all display the typical symptoms.
“Listeners have been emailing me for years saying they’re praying that I’ll get over my cold,” said Stamberg, the special correspondant and veteran All Things Considered anchor. “I don’t have a cold. And my voice sounds fine to me.”
As Stamberg spoke, a flock of geese landed all about her, called in by the sound of her voice piped through her nostils.
Experts at the USNO say Stamberg is in denial, which is typical of NPR Nose patients.
“They can’t hear themselves,” said Dr. Linus Septum of USNO, “I don’t think they realize that normal people don’t sound like they just snorted a wool cardigan.”
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