(2014-06-19) — In the wake of yesterday’s ruling by a federal agency that the Washington Redskins do not enjoy trademark protection for their team name because it’s offensive to some Native Americans, the franchise owner is reportedly considering “bringing the name up to date in a way that reflects more recent Native American traditions.”
According to unnamed NFL sources, the short list of potential new names includes “The Washington Craps Dealers,” since the Trademark and Trial Appeal Board of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office ruled that the name “Redskins” is disparaging, and not a badge of honor as team owners have claimed for years.
A White House spokesman said President Obama applauds the trademark ruling, which means that the Redskins’ owner can no longer sue for trademark infringement, “even if a thousand other businesses steal the name and use it on their products.”
“Finally,” the president said, “Native Americans get justice against a white man.”
Sources say other team names under consideration would acknowledge…
- the relationship between the U.S. government and the Indian tribes — “The Washington Dependents,” or
- the rich Native American tradition of overcoming addiction to distilled spirits — “The Washington 12-Steppers,” or
- the freedom from daily toil enjoyed by many on Indian reservations — “The Washington Jobless.”