Posts Tagged ‘United Nations’

Obama Strikes Landmark Climate Deal with China

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Obama strikes landmark climate-change deal with China

President Obama pledged to do what he pledged in 2009. President Xi pledged to do nothing until 2030.

Hamas Agrees to Unilateral 72-Hour “Cease Liar”

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Palestinian in Gaza covers his mouth to avoid breaking Hamas' unilateral 72-hour cease-liar.

Palestinian in Gaza covers his mouth to avoid breaking Hamas’ unilateral 72-hour cease-liar.

(2014-08-02) — Just hours after Hamas violated the most recent ceasefire agreement with Israel, President Barack Obama dispatched Secretary of State John Kerry to the telephone where he spent hours hammering out an ironclad unilateral 72-hour “cease-liar” deal with Hamas.

“During these three days,” Kerry said, “The leaders of Hamas have agreed to refrain from making any commitments they don’t intend to keep, or that they might later decide to breach, even though they start out with goodwill in their hearts.”

The White House admits this is an interim cease-liar agreement, and “at any moment Hamas could stagger under the burden of such an historic promise.”

Secretary Kerry completed the latest deal as the clock ticked down on the monthly minutes allocation of his Windows smartphone.

Kerry also explained that this week’s truce collapsed largely because neither Hamas, nor Turkish and Qatari mediators, could comfortably pronounce the first three letters of “truce.”

The Obama administration has agreed “to suspend peace talks for the duration of the agreement to facilitate compliance by Hamas.”

Obama May Pick ‘Sunny Susan’ Rice as Security Adviser

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Obama May Pick Susan Rice as National Security Adviser

‘Sunny Susan’ Rice seen in this file photo after Republicans effectively ended her prospects for the Secretary of State nomination. She told associates it happened, “Because they were afraid they’d never find another U.N. Ambassador as terrific as me.”

U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, looks like the top candidate to become President Obama’s National Security Adviser, according to The Washington Post, because Obama likes her positive, “sunny” approach to global affairs.

Republicans effectively blocked Rice’s appointment as Secretary of State after she made a talkshow tour claiming the deadly embassy attack in Benghazi, Libya, was a mere anti-American protest that got out of hand, rather than a coordinated Muslim terrorist attack.

Since then, from her post at the United Nations, Rice has quietly kept the president informed about world events, including notifying Obama that…

  • North Korean nuclear detonation tests were really just Mentos and Diet Coke experiments that got out of hand.
  • Syrian president Bashar Assad’s brutal crackdown in dissident rebels is, in fact, an attempt by Assad to put rebels in ‘time out’, that went awry, and
  • Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez will soon recover from his battle with mortality, so he can resume his campaign to restore individual liberty, integrity and democracy to his people.

The White House has also received assurances that as National Security Adviser, Rice would not use global crises where American lives are in jeopardy as an excuse to spoil Obama’s “downtime.”