Posts Tagged ‘NSA’

Obama’s 11th Hour Appeal: Please Don’t Vote Democrat

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Obama in Oval Office

Obama wrote his final midterm election appeal in the Oval Office, between phone calls from Democrat candidates who begged him to endorse them, and to speak at their campaign events.

(2014-10-29) — With less than a week before the pivotal midterm elections, and with polls showing Republicans may take control of the U.S. Senate thanks to President Obama’s dismal popularity numbers, Obama today made his final appeal to voters.

“Please don’t vote Democrat,” the president said in a video recorded in the Oval Office. “I’m personally asking you to remember what I promised, and what I’ve delivered, and to trust me again when I say, don’t vote Democrat on November 4th.”

The White House said the president’s “Don’t Vote Democrat” message is backed by his record, and his credibility, and was recorded at the request of Democrat Congressional candidates.

“Right now,” said White House press secretary Josh Earnest, “the best thing the president can do to assure election of a Democratic Senate majority is to vigorously oppose Democratic candidates everywhere.”

To drive home the message of the video, Obama then rehearsed his accomplishments:

“If you liked your doctor and you kept your doctor, then please don’t vote Democrat.

If you’re now paying $2,500-a-year less for your health insurance, don’t vote Democrat.

If you feel safer from terrorists and infectious disease, and if America’s enhanced stature around the world — including our restarted relations with Russia, friendship with Israel, and the peace that’s descended on Iraq since I pulled the troops out — if that all makes you feel more secure, then don’t vote Democrat.

If the closing of Gitmo brings tears of joy to your eyes, and if the new civil tone in Washington, and greater brotherhood among racial groups makes you feel part of one nation under God, don’t vote Democrat.

If you look at the NSA and the IRS and they remind you that ‘government is simply what we do together,’ then don’t vote Democrat.

If you’re making more money at work, and spending more time on vacation and leisure, please don’t vote Democrat.

And finally, if your kid found a job right out of college, and you can make your basement a game room and workshop again, please don’t vote Democrat.”

 

NSA Cracks al-Qaeda Snapchat Terror Ring

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Snapchat’s database, just hacked by the NSA, contained a “surprising number” of young, female, topless al-Qaeda agents, according to sources in the Obama administration.

(2014-01-03) — The White House announced today that NSA code crackers hacked a key al-Qaeda Snapchat network, unmasking names and other identifying data of dozens of suspected terrorists–many of whom are surprisingly young, female and topless.

Snapchat is a social networking app that allows users to transmit text and photos designed to disappear from the recipient’s device within seconds. The ephemeral nature of the messages is what turned NSA staffers on to its possible use by the world’s best-known Islamist terror network.

However, unnamed sources admitted that Qaeda’s use of teenaged girls–posing in ways clearly forbidden by the Koran–initially surprised even seasoned espionage experts.

White House spokesman Jay Carney acknowledged that NSA cryptographers could take months to decode the secret messages, but added, “we have our best men on it day and night.”

He said the agency has shifted some analysts to the project who were winding up work on the NSA’s recently-successful Operation Target Shopper.

In the meantime, Carney said parents should inspect their teen’s smartphones and forward any suspicious pictures to the NSA.

The rare public revelation of an NSA covert operation seems aimed at critics who fault the secretive agency for its invasions of privacy, lack of accountability and paucity of demonstrable results in protecting Americans from attacks.