Posts Tagged ‘McConnell’

GOP Blocks Trump’s “Soft Bigotry of High Expections”

(2018-08-10) — On a 92-6 vote the Senate Wednesday approved an across-the-board pay increase for federal employees in 2019, ignoring President Donald Trump’s call for merit-based pay that would reward performance, instead of mere longevity. Most Republicans supported the general pay hike rather than what one called “Trump’s soft bigotry of high expectations.”

“Pay for government bureaucrats must remain competitive with that of unaccountable employees in the private sector, or we’ll have a hard time luring them to D.C.,” said an unnamed Republican Senator. “Not everyone is cut out for the tedium and lack of accountability required for government service. Those who do qualify are already coasting in cubicles below their boss’ radar in large corporations.”

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-KY, said GOP Senators came to Washington to stand up for “the  forgotten man.”

“In this case,” McConnell said, “that means increasing the pay of people who’ve been forgotten even by their own government supervisors.”

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Putin Mediates ObamaCare Defunding Standoff

(2013-09-18) — Russian President Vladimir Putin today stepped in to deescalate tensions between the White House and Republicans in Congress over ObamaCare. At this hour, it’s shaping up to be the Russian statesman’s second diplomatic triumph, just days after he convinced Syria to hand over its chemical weapons to the U.N..

Putin intervened after an Obama administration official, in what was later described as a “gaffe”, said Obama would drop his plans to deploy ObamaCare on the American people if Republican leaders would “abandon their party’s fiscal conservatism,” and back a number of sweeping new spending initiatives, new powers for the NSA, and new “limits on unreasonable freedom of the press.”

“I called Rep. Boehner and Sen. McConnell.” said Putin, “and explained Obama’s offer. They immediately accepted.”

A spokesman for Congressional Republicans denied that GOP leaders had “caved,” and claimed they lost nothing in the deal.

White House spokesman Jay Carney said Putin was able to broker the deal because of the way President Obama “projected strength” by playing golf in the midst of crisis.

Carney noted that while ObamaCare “as we know it” is now legally dead, the offer wasn’t a gaffe, because “we always planned to implement it by executive order and regulatory rulings anyway. We’re still on Plan A.”

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