Posts Tagged ‘House’

GOP Balks, House Democrats Move to Impeach Obama

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Nancy Pelosi

Democratic House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi shakes her fist in rage against Republicans as she announces that she’ll file articles of impeachment against President Barack Obama in September, in advance of the next Congressional campaign-finance reporting deadline.

(2014-08-04) — Because House Republicans have steadfastly refused to impeach President Barack Obama, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) today announced that her caucus would advance articles of impeachment against the president in early September.

The move comes in the run-up to the 2014 midterm elections, as Democrat fundraising goals outstrip receipts, and some polls show the GOP could recapture the Senate.

“An attack on the president is an attack on all Americans,” Rep. Pelosi said. “Republicans, deep in their hearts, have wanted to impeach President Obama since before he was senator. We Democrats will introduce these articles of impeachment to unmask the true feelings of most Republicans, and to give Democratic lawmakers the opportunity to stand boldly at his side.”

A fundraising letter immediate went out from the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee with the subject line, “GOP-Run House Tries to Impeach President Obama!”

White House spokesman Josh Earnest, called the impending impeachment “no surprise given the hostility of Republicans toward America’s first black president.”

“The fact that the Democrats had to launch this impeachment effort,” Earnest said, “is just another example of John Boehner’s do-nothing Republican majority.”

President Obama, informed of his looming impeachment, reportedly said, “Cha-ching.”

Senate’s 1st Budget in 4 Years Stops Global Warming

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Senate budget on it's way to be bronzedAn aide delivers the Senate’s first budget in four years, as climate scientists rejoice over the prospects of falling surface temperatures due to rapid cooling in the netherworld.

At daybreak Saturday, the U.S. Senate passed its first annual budget in four years, a move scientists say could actually reverse the global warming trend if predictions about subterranean freezing come to pass.

“You’ve heard the forecasts about when the Senate would pass a budget,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. “Well, it happened. So as the folks in the netherworld bundle up, those of us who currently dwell topside and were concerned about the rise of the oceans can heave a sigh of relief.”

Climate scientists say that even a thin layer of ice on the surface of the river Styx in the underworld could reduce the Earth’s core temperature enough to counteract glacial melting on the surface.

While this comes as welcome news to those frightened by the prospects of global warming, an expert from the porcine research facility at the University of Idaho warned that passage of a budget in the Senate can spawn a plague of avian hogs, whose airborne antics could have unpredictable consequences for the environment.