Posts Tagged ‘Hillary Clinton’

‘We Lost Bob’: Woodward Now Trump-Collusion Denier

(2018-09-16) — ‘Fear’ author Bob Woodward has become part of the conspiracy to conceal the collusion with Russia that won the presidency for Donald Trump.

That’s the inescapable conclusion of professional journalists and their Democrats upon hearing the famed Watergate reporter tell radio host Hugh Hewitt that, during his two year probe of the Trump administration, he “looked for it hard” but found no evidence that Trump’s campaign worked together with Russians to tilt the election result in his favor.

“We lost Bob,” said one crestfallen Washington Post reporter who requested anonymity to avoid accountability. “The icon of six generations of political reporters has fallen. He’s just a liar like Trump now. The great Bob Woodward was part of the conspiracy to defeat Hillary Clinton, and to end democracy as we know it.”

Stockholm syndrome was the initial explanation among those who knew and trusted Woodward’s professionalism. Over two years and hundreds of interviews, he must have developed a psychological alliance with his ‘captors’ in the White House and in the Trump campaign, they reasoned.

But as news of the Hewitt interview propagated on Twitter, a darker explanation took shape.

Many now believe that Woodward was “in on it from the beginning” — a willing tool of Trump’s, who wrote the book to distract from special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation.

“It’s all become clear now,” said one unnamed Democrat House member. “Just like Trump uses chaos to distract from his destructive agenda, Woodward wrote a book about White House chaos to deflect the undeniable truth that Donald Trump sits in the Oval Office at the behest of Vladimir Putin, to do his bidding.”

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi today promised that when she becomes Majority Leader in January 2019, “the second order of business will be to impeach Bob Woodward, and to eject him from the Democrat caucus.”

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Trump’s Son Admits Russians Dished Dirt on Hillary

(2018-08-06) — Donald Trump, Jr., admitted today that he met with Russians to “get dirt” on then-candidate Hillary Clinton, and “the meeting was more fruitful that if we’d waterboarded her.”

“The Russians gave us a lot of intel on Hillary,” said the president’s son. “We learned that she was involved in shady financial and land deals in Arkansas, that as a lawyer she defended a child rapist, that she attacked women who were sexually assaulted by her husband, that she left the American consulate in Benghazi poorly guarded leading to the death of four Americans, that her family’s charitable foundation traded influence for cash, and that her party cronies secretly conspired to marginalize Bernie Sanders during the 2016 Democratic primaries.”

The younger Trump said there was much more, but that he didn’t take notes during the Trump Tower meeting.

The White House issued a statement acknowledging candidate Trump also knew of the compromising intel, but said the president’s son was mistaken about the source, and that he’d merely been watching Fox News.

Discuss in Scrappler Chat

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Electors Pick Popular Vote Winners Clinton, Gore

Electoral College Awards Presidency to Hillary Clinton and Al Gore

Calm prevailed on the campus of the Electoral College before the surprising vote that overturned the November result.

(2016-12-19) — In an Electoral College upset, Hillary Clinton and Al Gore were chosen over Donald Trump to serve as the 45th President of the United States.

The Chancellor of the Electoral College announced the decision shortly after 1:00 p.m. Eastern, noting that the pair of former Democratic Senators both won the popular votes for the office.

“The assembled electors felt it only fair,” said the Chancellor, “to correct an historical injustice perpetrated by the Framers of the Constitution, and to award the office to those who won the hearts and minds of We, the People.”

Although experts had predicted a perfunctory selection of Donald Trump, based on the November 8 state-by-state election results, a motivational speech by the coach of the college football team apparently swayed many electors to choose Clinton and Gore.

The electoral vote tally will now be submitted by the academic dean of the Electoral College, to the full college of cardinals for their approval on January 6, 2017.

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Scalia Gone, Obama to Pick Black Lesbian Amputee Vet

Barack_Obama_anonymous-court-nominee

President Obama is already practicing his congratulatory handshake for his Black, lesbian, double-amputee, military veteran Supreme Court nominee, played here by a White stand-in.

(2016-02-15) — Just days after the sudden death of Supreme Court Associate Justice Antonin Scalia, White House sources say President Obama will cast a wide net for a replacement nominee whose appointment Republicans won’t have the audacity to stall.

“The president already has in hand a short list of Black, lesbian, military veteran double-amputee jurists from which he’ll choose the eventual nominee,” according to an unnamed administration source.

Obama reportedly reviewed the list on Sunday, circled a favorite, then remarked, “Let’s see Mitch McConnell and the boys push that one to the back of the bus.”

Meanwhile, on the campaign trail, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said, “I applaud President Obama, our dear leader, for striving to ensure that our highest court looks more like America — and frankly, less like me — than it would if a Republican were president.

 

 

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Hillary Clinton Plans Private Presidential Library

Hillary Rodham (Clinton) Presidential Library

Preliminary architectural drawings of the Hillary Rodham (Clinton) Presidential Library include a courtesy entrance for security personnel and close Clinton associates, as well as a parking lot adequate to accommodate everyone who has a ClintonEmail.com address.

(2015-03-10) — In the wake of revelations that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton used a private email server for State Department business, a source close to the presumptive 2016 Democratic nominee says Mrs. Clinton has plans for a private presidential library.

“She’s a very deliberate planner,” said the unnamed source, “and given the likelihood of her election as president, naturally she’s well into establishing the repository for her presidential documents.”

Architectural drawings of the Hillary Rodham (Clinton) Presidential Library show a massive server farm in a hardened bunker, but no exterior doors for public access to the facility.

“Americans and international visitors will, of course, be welcome to tour the grounds and to gaze at the striking exterior of the Rodham Presidential Library,” the source said. “But only Mrs. Clinton and key associates will have access to the interior. Frankly, there’s nothing to see there anyway.”

 

Michelle Obama Denies Calling Clinton ‘Hildebeest’

(2014-06-23) — Putting to rest allegations in the controversial new book, “Blood Feud,” the White House today said First Lady Michelle Obama and presidential adviser Valerie Jarrett do not refer to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton by a derogatory name in private conversations.

Wildebeest and Hillary Clinton

The Office of First Lady Michelle Obama released this side-by-side comparison of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and a wildebeest to “highlight the absurdity of allegations in a new book that Mrs. Obama refers to Mrs. Clinton, privately, as ‘Hildebeest.'” An attached document noted at least seven obvious distinctions between the two.

“Secretary Clinton served our nation with honor and distinction,” First Lady Obama reportedly said. “It’s beneath the dignity of her several offices to call Secretary Clinton ‘Hildebeest’, especially here, under the very roof where she served as First Lady.”

The statement, on Office of the First Lady letterhead, went on to explain that “‘Hildebeest’ is a derogatory term because it combines Mrs. Clinton’s name with that of an African bovine, suggesting that she’s, in some way, like a wild cow. Yet, almost nothing could be further from the truth.”

“For example,” Mrs. Obama’s statement continued, “Wildebeests do not mate for life, but Secretary Clinton has been married to her husband for many years. So it would make almost no sense to call her ‘Hildebeest’.”

The statement also noted that wildebeests have coarse dry skin, and shaggy manes, but Mrs. Obama noted that Hillary Clinton’s hair is “nearly always neatly groomed.”

“For the record,” Mrs. Obama’s statement concluded, “If I had called Hillary Clinton ‘Hildebeest’ I would have apologized, but I did not call her ‘Hildebeest.’

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