Posts Tagged ‘football’

Nike to ‘Sacrifice Everything’ for Black Community

(2018-09-04) — On the heels of its new ad campaign with former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick, Nike announced today it would “sacrifice everything” to benefit the urban Black community for which Kaepernick has become a champion.

When corporate officers saw the public response to the new ad slogan — “Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything.“— they decided to “Just Do It.”

Starting today, Nike will put its $36.3 billion in annual revenue, and its U.S. employees, to work on behalf of inner-city communities hit hard by income inequality, by institutional racism, and most tragically, by President Trump’s Tweets about NFL players who kneel during the National Anthem.

Nike launched several new “sacrifice everything” initiatives, including, a commitment to…

1) Manufacture all of its products in U.S. inner cities like Detroit, MI, and Compton, CA, by the 3rd quarter of 2019.

2) Slash Nike shoe and gear prices so even the poorest of the poor can afford them.

3) Redistribute headquarters personnel from their suburban homes to urban-core communities where they’ll live, work, send their kids to public schools, and serve on late-night volunteer neighborhood-watch patrols.

4) Diversify its board of directors and executives in design, marketing, and sales, to mirror the racial and ethnic population proportions in the average U.S. inner city.

5) Donate every penny of profits to drug rehabs, tuition assistance and vocational training programs for inner-city youth.

“All of these ‘sacrifice everything’ initiatives put our money where our mouth is, and our feet on the move,” said a Nike spokesman. “We don’t want anyone to think Nike’s using Colin Kaepernick to appropriate ‘the struggle’ in some crass corporate way just to boost our $15.9 billion annual profit.”

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Police Reach Deal with NFL Anthem Protestors

(2018-08-18) — In an agreement worked out late Saturday night, police unions across the United States agreed to stop hunting, shooting and gratuitously detaining and roughing-up black people, while NFL Players Union members agreed to stand respectfully during the national anthem, starting with Sunday’s games.

Police said they “buckled under the tremendous moral pressure brought to bear by pro football players kneeling or raising a fist during the anthem.”

“Until recently, most police officers, regardless of color, felt it was acceptable to shoot black people whether they posed a threat or not,” said a police spokesman. “But then the kneeling ballplayers started a national conversation, and the guys in the precincts got woke, and decided to obey the law…but only if players would respect the anthem.”

The landmark deal brings down the curtain on the most tumultous and tragic epoch in American civil rights history.

With the end so-called blue-on-black violence, protesting NFL players said they’re excited they can stand again, and proudly sing the anthem of the land they love.

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Obama Scolds USA Soccer Team for Beating Ghana

(2014-06-17) — At a Rose Garden ceremony today, President Obama officially rebuked the U.S. soccer team for its victory over Ghana in yesterday’s World Cup match, noting that the shocking outcome merely “exacerbates the negative image that African nations have of America as a bully and oppressor.”

Secretary of State Kerry doing ball tricks

Secretary of State John Kerry practices a trick he hopes to perform for the president of Ghana as goodwill gesture following President Obama’s apology for his nation’s treatment of the Ghanian national soccer team this week.

“Worse than the way the Americans treated Ghana on the field,” said Obama, “is the unseemly crowing afterward, and all the chanting of “USA! USA!” I don’t think people realize how offensive that is to African ears…I’m told.”

This morning, Mr. Obama called the president of Ghana, John Dramani Mahama, to apologize for the incident, which he admitted “seems reminiscent of the arrogant era of Western conquest and colonialism.”

The White House said the president dispatched Secretary of State John Kerry to the region for a seven-nation African apology tour. Mr. Kerry will bring the message that “the African continent was the cradle of humanity, and therefore, the birthplace of soccer…and everything else.”

Secretary Kerry will follow that mission with another tour to apologize for incorrectly calling the sport “soccer,” admitting that Americans “stole its proper name — ‘football’ — for our own brutal sport.”

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