Posts Tagged ‘executive order’

Trump Orders Two Immigrants Deported for Each Arrival

Trump orders two immigrants deported for each arrival. [ScrappleFace.com](2017-01-31) — On the heels of his Executive Order requiring elimination of two federal regulations for each new one, President Donald Trump signed an order today deporting two immigrants for each one arriving on U.S. soil.

The move should eliminate all foreign-born U.S. residents by the end of the Trump’s third presidential term.

A White House spokesman said, “At that point, the president would issue a new order deporting two second-generation Americans for each fresh immigrant — then third generation, and so on. Pretty soon, we’ll have the country whittled down to the true Americans.”

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Obama Plan to Gamify HealthCare.gov ‘Catching Fire’

(2013-11-21) — In order to lighten the load on the HealthCare.gov website, the White House announced today that each county in the nation will have one designated individual to apply for high-quality, low-cost healthcare on behalf of the citizens of that county.

Because the website is not designed to handle as many as 3,144 users at once, the Department of Health and Human Services will sponsor a televised contest among the chosen representatives, and citizens of the survivor’s county will get to move to the head of the ObamaCare application line.

“I know we’ve made some false steps and suffered some stumbles,” said President Obama about his signature legislation’s rollout, “but I’m confident that this is the final solution.”

The move, implemented by Executive Order No. 12345 late last night, “not only begins to address the challenge of America’s under-crowded medical waiting rooms,” the president said. “But it does so in an entertaining way, inspiring each American to cheer on his or her player, and to hope for the best.”

“While I’m sure Republican skeptics will predict failure,” Mr. Obama added, “I can already see this idea catching fire.”

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