Posts Tagged ‘Commerce Department’

Record High Jobs, Low Unemployment, Doom Trump

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(2018-08-03) — The Commerce Department reported today that more Americans than ever went to work in July, and that unemployment hit an historic low. The latest jobs report virtually dooms President Trump’s Republicans in the 2018 mid-term elections, because Trump’s son, Donald Jr., met with Russians, his former campaign chief, Paul Manafort, bought an ostrich coat, and the president won’t apologize to CNN reporter Jim Acosta for calling the news media “the enemy of the people.”

The Federal Reserve this week upgraded its assessment of the economy from “solid” to “strong”, which means time’s running out for Trump-backed GOP candidates to explain why First Lady Melania isn’t always with her husband, and why his daughter, Ivanka, sometimes disagrees with her father.

Hispanic unemployment also hit a new record low, and Black joblessness remains near its new historic bottom, signaling that Republican candidates must distance themselves from Trump because everything the president has done so far constitutes impeachable “high crimes and misdemeanors.”

The disastrous jobs report comes on the heels of the Commerce Department’s foreboding announcement last week that GDP growth hit a four-year high, at 4.1 percent.

Minutes after the latest report, worried political consultants gathered behind closed doors inside the beltway to strategize how to rescue the GOP by engaging voters, who now have less time to watch political talkshows because they’re at work.

 

Revised Data Show 6 Years of Steep Economic Growth

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Revised figures show robust growth 2009-2014(2014-07-30) — The White House today released revised economic data from the Commerce Department that shows the recession and stagnation of the past six years was actually a time of booming economic growth.

“Commerce periodically reviews the numbers and revises its estimates,” said White House spokesman Josh Earnest (which is his real name). “The president was delighted to see that the latest revision marks the start of the turnaround on or about January 20, 2009. His second inauguration spurred another surge. These revisions won’t surprise anyone who really knows the president, or at least none who work for him.”

Earnest attributed the new upbeat perspective on economic growth to “President Obama’s skill in crafting executive economic policy, new insights in mathematics from Common Core, and some recent personnel changes at the Department of Commerce’s Office of GDP Review.

 

GOP: Obama Tanks Economy to Distract from Scandals

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(2014-06-25) — Just hours after the Commerce Department revised economic growth figures for the first quarter of 2014 dramatically downward, a spokesman for Republicans in Congress said President Obama is “tanking the economy to distract from Benghazi, IRS, NSA and other scandals which threaten to bring down his presidency.”

Unemployment line

Republicans released this picture of Americans lining up to learn more about Obama administration scandals involving Benghazi, the IRS, the VA, the NSA and Obamacare.

The U.S. economy reportedly shrank 2.9 percent from January to March this year, according to the new numbers from Commerce, but a GOP lawmaker immediately questioned the reliability of the data.

“I’ll believe the economy is in its worst shape in five years when I see the original emails from the Commerce Secretary to the president,” the unnamed Republican lawmaker said. “Now, the left-wing media will be chattering about the pathetic, moribund economy instead of what we Republicans have been talking about for several years. The timing of this is just a little too convenient, if you ask me.”

The unnamed lawmaker emphasized that he’s not a “conspiracy nut.”

However, he added, “Why do you think they released this horrible economic news in the midst of public uproar about the V.A. scandal, the IRS losing emails and Obamacare — not to mention the president being caught on camera reaching over the sneeze shield at Chipotle?”

A White House spokesman rejected the allegations, noting that, “The president learned about the lousy economy on the news, just like most Americans — or at least like the ones who didn’t already know about it because of losing a job, or losing their insurance, or having their adult son run up from the basement to tell them what he just saw on Twitter.”