Posts Tagged ‘bombing’

Youth Issues Cry for Help from Manchester Arena

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Ariana Grande fans mill about the Manchester Arena lobby, wondering if they could have done more to help a troubled you before he committed suicide with an improvised explosive devise.

Ariana Grande fans mill about the Manchester Arena lobby, wondering if they could have done more to help a troubled youth before he committed suicide with an improvised explosive devise.

 


(2017-05-23) — A troubled young person issued a cry for help last night from the lobby of a Manchester (U.K.) arena at the end of an Ariana Grande concert, leaving 22 dead and dozens wounded — most tragically, the emotionally-distraught youth himself.

Officials from Britain’s National Health Service offered regret that — despite having one of the world’s best-known socialized health systems — the government was unable to help the youth before his untimely death.

“We don’t know yet,” said one NHS official, “whether the victim suffered from the normal trauma brought on by income inequality, the social isolation associated with gender dysphoria, or if he was subject to bullying at school. We do know that the system failed him, because conservatives in Parliament have refused to adequately fund the National Health Service.”

 

Boston to Terrorists: We Surrender

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Vacant city street awaits parade of terrorist conquerorsDowntown Boston remains desolate as mayor announces surrender to unnamed terrorists.

The City of Boston today agreed to surrender to “al Qaeda, or whoever did this” just two days after two bombs exploded near the finish line of the Boston Marathon, killing three and wounding 170.

Standing in the middle of the utterly-deserted downtown, the mayor told a few remaining journalists that he would sign terms of surrender, abdicate his office and “effectively hand the keys to the city over to the agent, or group, that has brought Boston to a standstill, and has kept us all cowering in our homes wondering what to do next.”

This would be the first time in recent memory that a U.S. city has capitulated to terrorists, and surrendered its sovereignty. But sources close to the mayor noted that Boston, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and the American people “lack both the resources and the resolve to stand up to occasional, seemingly-random attacks.”

The official signing ceremony and transfer of power awaits the revelation of the identity of the victorious conqueror.

Meanwhile, in Pakistan, the Palestinian territory, and throughout the Muslim world, mobs of cheering people chanted, “Boston has fallen, Braintree is next.”