Posts Tagged ‘attorney general’

Trump to Sessions: Corrupt Congressmen Help MAGA

(2018-09-04) — The nation needs corrupt Republicans in Congress to maintain the economic growth that will Make America Great Again.

That’s the message from President Donald Trump to his rogue Attorney General Jeff Sessions, after the Justice Department indicted two GOP lawmakers just before the midterm elections on charges of misusing campaign funds, securities fraud, wire fraud, and lying to the FBI.

Trump said it’s not just the pre-election timing of the indictments of Republican Congressmen Chris Collins and Duncan Hunter that disturbs him, or the fact that the investigations started under the Obama administration.

“The loss of two men who know the family business, how to make deals, and how get things done, could cripple the operation,” he said, “and ultimately that hurts the economy.”

The president praised the “creativity” of the indicted lawmakers, noting, “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission, and you gotta break some eggs to make an omelette. Give me a half-dozen innovators like Chris and Duncan, and I can own the lion’s share of any market,” Trump said. “We don’t just need more Republicans in Congress. We need guys like these who play fast and loose, who grab for all the gusto they can get, and who are willing to get their hands dirty.”

The president added that, “This huge country was built built by men who shoot first and ask questions later, who get while the gettin’s good, and who leverage themselves to the hilt and say whatever it takes to get the deal done, while making sure the exit is paved with gold. I can’t understand why Jeff Sessions would want to squelch that kind of initiative.”

Share Button
 

Maddow’s Secret Tape Snags Nunes Agreeing with Self

(2018-08-09) — MSNBC commentator Rachel Maddow has released a “revelatory” secret recording of Republican California Rep. Devin Nunes making unguarded comments at a closed-door GOP fundraiser in which Nunes privately echoes his own public comments.

The blockbuster recording demonstrates conclusively that Nunes believes..

  • Attorney General Jeff Sessions should not have recused himself from the Russia investigation,
  • that Special Counsel Robert Mueller should wrap up his probe,
  • that Republicans in Congress may be the last line of defense for President Trump, and
  • that his party needs to maintain its House majority.

While all of these are opinions Nunes has publicly avowed, it’s devastating to hear them on a secret recording made by activist interlopers at a private fundraising event, according to people who secretly tape private meetings.

A Liberal activist group, FUSE Washington, paid to infiltrate the GOP gathering. That investment paid off in some hot-mic moments that reverberated around the Capitol this morning.

“It’s one thing for a Congressman to say he supports Trump, wants the Mueller probe to end, and his party to dominate the legislature,” said an unnamed Democratic aide. “But on this dinner recording, with the sound of utensils on plates, when Nunes didn’t know he was being taped, to hear him say the same thing he usually says — well, that’s virtually unprecedented in D.C.. Nobody does that.”

Rachel Maddow’s exclusive release of these stunning recordings seems likely to vault her onto the list of journalists who would be a household name if anyone were watching MSNBC.

Share Button
 

Holder to Walk: Attorney General Leaving Fast, Furious

BREAKING

Obama and Holder in Oval Office

This file photo shows a recent Oval Office meeting between outgoing Attorney General Eric Holder, and President Obama. They discussed where Obama might purchase a necktie.

(2014-09-25) — A Justice Department source says Attorney General Eric Holder hopes to leave his post fast, furious with opponents’ attacks on his tenure as the nation’s top law enforcement officer.

President Obama, reportedly, plans to just “let him walk.”

“Of course, Obama will always know where Holder is,” the unnamed source said. “Such a powerful person is easy to trace, in case the president needs to shoot him an email, or has a legal concern that’s sort of borderline.”

Friends and associates say the Attorney General hopes to “get a job in the private sector where the cops won’t hassle him just because he’s black.”

Share Button
 

Holder: Gays Deserve Equal Treatment from IRS, NSA

AG Eric Holder said the Justice Dept. will ensure that homosexual couples aren't overlooked by the IRS and NSA.

AG Eric Holder said the Justice Dept. will ensure that homosexuals aren’t overlooked by the IRS and NSA.

(2014-02-10) — Attorney General Eric Holder announced today that from now on the Justice Department will make sure that the federal government treats homosexual couples the same as heterosexuals, ensuring equally-vigorous IRS scrutiny for their political groups, generous NSA eavesdropping on personal communications, and proactive government exclusion of their viewpoints from the public schools.

“I’ve grown concerned recently that gay people are not receiving the kind of attention they should from the federal government,” said Holder. “We don’t know for a fact that government policy excludes gay people, but the seriousness of the allegation is sufficient to merit additional funding and staffing to ensure that both civil rights and civil constraints are equally applicable to all.”

The Attorney General said federal recognition of gay marriages is the keystone in an “equitable-compliance” regimen.

“Once we register gay marriages in our database,” Holder said. “we can make sure that heterosexuals aren’t being favored with more IRS audits, for example. And gay people should also know that the NSA listens to their concerns, as well as to other details of their lives. Your federal government is there for you.”

An unnamed spokesman for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community praised Holder’s “long overdue” statement, noting that without an explicit mandate, government agencies may have inadvertently neglected to give the same level of attention to LGBT persons as it has to people still clinging to what he/she called “legacy sexual identity” (LSI).

“It’s an issue of fairness and compliance,” the spokesman said. “We simply want to ensure that the government doesn’t discriminate in its delivery of comprehensive monitoring and aggressive regulation just because of who you love.”

Share Button
 

Obama’s ‘Best-Looking’ Quip Sparks Historic Dialogue

President Obama starts historic national conversationPresident Obama starts historic national conversation about “the often magnificent beauty of some of America’s most accomplished professional women.”

President Obama’s recently-revealed opinion that California’s Kamala Harris is the “best-looking attorney general” has sparked an “important and long-avoided national dialogue that history will view as a great advance for women’s rights,” according to a White House spokesman. The incident is reminiscent of how the president used the ‘bully pulpit’ to start national conversations on race, and on homosexual marriage.

“It was not an off-the-cuff remark,” said spokesman Jay Carney. “The president’s words were straight from the TelePrompTer, and therefore, straight from his heart. He felt that this was the moment to break the unspoken national embargo on noticing the beauty of successful women.”

Carney said attractive, but powerful women have devoted countless hours and thousands of dollars to enhance their physical appearance, “only to be met with awkward silence when their attributes clearly call for a verbal response. The president believes it’s time to bring gorgeous influential women out of the shadows to be openly admired by awe-struck men.”

However, off the record, White House insiders acknowledge that Vice President Biden “forced Obama to ‘come out’ for physical compliments” before the president was ready, with Biden’s own frequent spontaneous remarks on female allure.

“The president’s views on speaking up when he’s enthralled by a successful woman’s appearance have been evolving,” said one unnamed source. “But Biden pushed the timeline for his public revelation.”

The president reportedly hopes that his groundbreaking comments will “help America get past this embarrassing chapter in our history of discrimination, and will finally put powerful, influential women on equal footing with working-class women whose efforts at beautification often meet with enthusiastic approbation from male associates.”

Share Button