Posts Tagged ‘Affordable Care Act’

Judge: Medicaid Must Also Cover Race Reassignment

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(2018-07-27) — Just a day after a federal judge ordered Wisconsin to use Medicaid money to fund sex-reassignment surgery for patients suffering “gender dysphoria”, another court said the same about race-reassignment procedures and therapies.

Both decisions aim to force the federal healthcare program for the poor, which is administered by the states, into compliance with the Affordable Care Act — the act formerly known as Obamacare.

Pigment dysphoria is a crippling condition that sets people at odds with their own visual, cultural and historical identification, according to experts. It can make a light-skinned woman who identifies as dark-skinned, for example, feel like a person without a racially-motivated social group. The condition is universal, afflicting all persons without regard to race, sex, or political affiliation.

Victims of pigment dysphoria often face accusations of “ethnic appropriation” for listening to music, styling hair, eating food, dating partners, or employing slang, which should be the sole province of another racial group. In extreme cases, pigment dysphoria patients even vote for the wrong candidates, according to the medical literature.

Under the terms of the court ruling, taxpayers will now provide these traumatized victims with pigment-reversion therapy, to change the skin to the color it should be, as well as with counseling and coaching to ensure the newly tinted or bleached person “doesn’t come off as a caricature,” thus facing rejection from his new pigment peers.

“Our primitive ancestors would have treated pigment dysphoria as a mental illness, or even as a mild annoyance,” the federal judge wrote. “We now know that it’s a legitimate, often dire, condition, which can be treated with government-mediated cash-reassignment therapy.”

 

Obama Rebukes Gruber: Voters Are Not That Stupid

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Obama

President Obama demonstrates how Obamacare designers obviously hid what they were doing, “like putting something under a basket here in plain sight.”

(2014-11-18) — President Obama came to the defense of millions of Americans today, rebuking Obamacare architect Jonathan Gruber for public statements that the Affordable Care Act’s passage came due to “the stupidity of the American voter.”

“I disagree with Mr. Gruber,” Obama said, “The American voter is not that stupid. My advisors tell me that many of them are capable of amazing things. In 2008 and 2012, for example, millions of Americans drove to a polling place, walked in, and voted for me. I don’t think Mr. Gruber realizes all of the brain functions that go into that one task. You can’t be very stupid, accomplish that, and still return safely to your home.”

The president noted that many Americans also have purchased his books, “an achievement that requires visual-spatial navigation, at least rudimentary communication skills and perhaps even literacy.”

Gruber, an MIT economics professor, also misstated the “lack of transparency” that he said facilitated the bill’s passage.

“Everyone knows that our lack of transparency was no secret,” the president said. “Our surreptitious negotiations, and closed-door hearings were well publicized. No one can now claim they didn’t know that we were obscuring the details of the Affordable Care Act behind 1,200 pages of legalese. We were very open about our lack of transparency, especially with regard to the tax and/or penalty behind the individual mandate.”

 

Obama Pardons Potential ObamaCare Violators

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As his daughters look on, President Obama mercifully pardons thousands of Americans who lost their health plans and failed to sign up for new coverage at HealthCare.gov.

As his daughters look on, President Obama mercifully pardons thousands of Americans who lost their health plans and failed to sign up for new coverage at HealthCare.gov.


(2013-12-20) — With the December 23rd deadline ominously looming for Americans to sign up for insurance policies at HealthCare.gov, President Obama last night granted executive pardons to “potential ObamaCare criminals” whose insurance carriers cancelled their policies, but who have thus far failed to enroll in new plans.

The blanket pardon follows similar acts of presidential mercy recently doled out to convicted crack dealers and Thanksgiving turkeys.

The White House said newly-pardoned “imminent offenders” will be allowed to purchase sub-standard plans, or to continue without health insurance through 2014, and to perform 40 hours of community service to atone for their “crimes of omission.”

Although the federal government will officially view the pardon recipients as full citizens, “with all rights customarily conferred upon them by the executive branch,” nevertheless, the stigma might be tough to shake.

“Let’s face it,” said White House press secretary Jay Carney. “These people were about to violate a federal law, so their neighbors might be justifiably wary of them.”

The president emphasizes that there’s little likely threat to public safety, but encourages all law-abiding citizens to “take the ordinary precautions of locking doors, and of keeping an eye on your children until all your neighbors have fully obeyed the Affordable Care Act.”

 

Obama to Drop the Ball on New Year’s Eve

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Obama to Drop the Ball

President Obama will personally drop the ball on New Year’s Eve in Times Square symbolically inviting young Americans to enroll in his signature health care plan.


(2013-12-14) — In a major effort to induce young people to sign up for coverage at HealthCare.gov, the White House announced today that the Department of Health and Human Services will be “the marquee sponsor of midnight” on New Year’s Eve in Times Square, and that “President Obama will follow singer Miley Cyrus, and personally drop the ball.”

“Millions of young Americans watch the countdown in Times Square,” said press secretary Jay Carney. “The president thinks it’s a great way to visually connect and to let them know that enrolling at HealthCare.gov is hip, it’s happening, it’s now.”

Carney added that Obama hopes that “young people certainly don’t miss the symbolism as the glittering orb descends from its lofty perch and is subsumed in the melee of humanity below.”

Unconfirmed reports last month indicated that the president would name HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius as “the official ball dropper,” but that he changed his mind after HealthCare.gov “started virtually functioning for the vast minority of users.”

The sponsorship decision has already paid off, according to ABC-TV, which announced that New Year’s Eve show host Dick Clark, 84, decided to enroll in ObamaCare because “I can’t be declined due to preexisting conditions.”

The President reportedly sent Mr. Clark a handwritten thank-you note, like the ones he has mailed to each enrollee so far.

 

Putin Mediates ObamaCare Defunding Standoff

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(2013-09-18) — Russian President Vladimir Putin today stepped in to deescalate tensions between the White House and Republicans in Congress over ObamaCare. At this hour, it’s shaping up to be the Russian statesman’s second diplomatic triumph, just days after he convinced Syria to hand over its chemical weapons to the U.N..

Putin intervened after an Obama administration official, in what was later described as a “gaffe”, said Obama would drop his plans to deploy ObamaCare on the American people if Republican leaders would “abandon their party’s fiscal conservatism,” and back a number of sweeping new spending initiatives, new powers for the NSA, and new “limits on unreasonable freedom of the press.”

“I called Rep. Boehner and Sen. McConnell.” said Putin, “and explained Obama’s offer. They immediately accepted.”

A spokesman for Congressional Republicans denied that GOP leaders had “caved,” and claimed they lost nothing in the deal.

White House spokesman Jay Carney said Putin was able to broker the deal because of the way President Obama “projected strength” by playing golf in the midst of crisis.

Carney noted that while ObamaCare “as we know it” is now legally dead, the offer wasn’t a gaffe, because “we always planned to implement it by executive order and regulatory rulings anyway. We’re still on Plan A.”

 

Obamacare to Cover Train Wrecks, White House Says

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Sen. Max Baucus warns about Obamacare Train WreckSen. Max Baucus told the HHS Secretary Wednesday he thinks Obamacare implementation is “a huge train wreck.” The White House released a statement noting that Sen. Baucus “looks just like late night TV star David Letterman.”

After Montana Democrat Sen. Max Baucus Wednesday told the Health and Human Services Secretary that Obamacare implementation looks like “a huge train wreck” the White House released a statement noting that “train wrecks would be covered under the Affordable Care Act, including preexisting train wrecks, like Medicaid.”

Sen. Baucus should not be alarmed at the chaos and confusion surrounding the startup of state-based health care exchanges and the expansion of Medicaid, slated to begin October 1, the White House said.

“Not only will train wrecks be covered,” according to the Obama administration, “but also injuries caused by clown cars and goat rodeos. So, the senator has nothing to worry about. The federal government has a long track record of consistent performance in delivering personal services in a way that most people have come to expect from government.”

Press Secretary Jay Carney added, “As the president has said, under Obamacare, you can keep your own deficit and it won’t add a dime to your doctor.”