Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

5 Takeaways From Tuesday’s Special Elections

Share Button

(2018-08-08) — With Tuesday’s special elections mostly over — Ohio’s 12th Congressional district result may trigger a recount — experts say candidates and voters can take the following lessons into November’s mid-terms.

1. Democrats spell ‘loss’ v-i-c-t-o-r-y: Merely inferior vote numbers can be deceiving. If the margin of loss should have been bigger, Democrats are de facto winners and should begin shopping for Congressional office drapery.

2. Trump-backed winners are losers: If the margin of their victory should have been bigger, Republicans endorsed by Trump may as well pull out of the race now and go home. His days are numbered, the new Democratic majority will impeach him, and…Russia.

3. Centrist Democrats merely faked Progressivism: Endorsements from Socialists Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie Sanders didn’t help Progressive candidates to win primaries because centrist Democrats publicly espoused Progressive views. Today, the moderate primary winners go back to being JFK Democrats so old people will vote for them in November.

4. Democrats can flip 23 House Seats: Because…momentum. Democrats are filled with energy and a youthful spirit, so they’ll get out the vote to return Rep. Nancy Pelosi to the House Speaker’s chair for her second century.

5. Republicans must avoid Trump: With GDP growing at a fast pace, unemployment at historic lows, and taxes coming down, savvy Republican candidates must insulate themselves from President Trump, who shoulders the blame for the economic disruption he caused after the stability of the Obama years.

Discuss in Scrappler Chat

 

Alex Jones Threat Spurs Facebook ‘Don’t Click’ Button

Share Button

(2018-08-07) — To combat the threat of internet hate-speech from Alex Jones and others, Facebook, Apple, and YouTube, among other social media platforms, today announced a new “Don’t Click” button. The feature will offer “another option” to users who feel compelled to watch or listen to hate speech and other material that “violates community standards.”

The new option comes after many social media platforms this week announced the removal of Alex Jones’ InfoWars pages, videos and podcasts as a way to “pro-actively protect Americans from unpopular ideas.” Jones’ reckless violation of “community standards” spurred action by the democratically-elected Social Media Standards Councils in thousands of communities worldwide, which then rose as one to order the Joint Community Standards Enforcement Brigade to remove and ban Jones’ content.

The communities then realized the scope of the threat, since Alex Jones does not hold a monopoly on unpopular ideas.

The global consortium of standards councils formed a joint committee to investigate alternatives that would “protect users from seeing or hearing things with which they disagree, things that are wrong, or things that inspire bad feelings.”

“Then it hit us,” said a member of the committee. “All of the complaints came from people who didn’t like Alex Jones, disagreed with his opinions, and didn’t want to watch him. If people could simply click a ‘Don’t Click’ button, they’d have a way out. They wouldn’t have to watch things they don’t want to watch.”

Discuss in Scrappler Chat forum

 

Trump’s Son Admits Russians Dished Dirt on Hillary

Share Button

(2018-08-06) — Donald Trump, Jr., admitted today that he met with Russians to “get dirt” on then-candidate Hillary Clinton, and “the meeting was more fruitful that if we’d waterboarded her.”

“The Russians gave us a lot of intel on Hillary,” said the president’s son. “We learned that she was involved in shady financial and land deals in Arkansas, that as a lawyer she defended a child rapist, that she attacked women who were sexually assaulted by her husband, that she left the American consulate in Benghazi poorly guarded leading to the death of four Americans, that her family’s charitable foundation traded influence for cash, and that her party cronies secretly conspired to marginalize Bernie Sanders during the 2016 Democratic primaries.”

The younger Trump said there was much more, but that he didn’t take notes during the Trump Tower meeting.

The White House issued a statement acknowledging candidate Trump also knew of the compromising intel, but said the president’s son was mistaken about the source, and that he’d merely been watching Fox News.

Discuss in Scrappler Chat

 

Record High Jobs, Low Unemployment, Doom Trump

Share Button

(2018-08-03) — The Commerce Department reported today that more Americans than ever went to work in July, and that unemployment hit an historic low. The latest jobs report virtually dooms President Trump’s Republicans in the 2018 mid-term elections, because Trump’s son, Donald Jr., met with Russians, his former campaign chief, Paul Manafort, bought an ostrich coat, and the president won’t apologize to CNN reporter Jim Acosta for calling the news media “the enemy of the people.”

The Federal Reserve this week upgraded its assessment of the economy from “solid” to “strong”, which means time’s running out for Trump-backed GOP candidates to explain why First Lady Melania isn’t always with her husband, and why his daughter, Ivanka, sometimes disagrees with her father.

Hispanic unemployment also hit a new record low, and Black joblessness remains near its new historic bottom, signaling that Republican candidates must distance themselves from Trump because everything the president has done so far constitutes impeachable “high crimes and misdemeanors.”

The disastrous jobs report comes on the heels of the Commerce Department’s foreboding announcement last week that GDP growth hit a four-year high, at 4.1 percent.

Minutes after the latest report, worried political consultants gathered behind closed doors inside the beltway to strategize how to rescue the GOP by engaging voters, who now have less time to watch political talkshows because they’re at work.

 

NFL Players to Kneel Over Cowboys QB Anthem Stand

Share Button

(2018-08-02) — NFL players plan to protest Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott’s recent remarks about the National Anthem by kneeling every time Prescott takes the field, according to sources in the players’ union.

The Dallas quarterback stirred controversy by saying that, though he, too, opposes racial injustice in the U.S., he will not protest during the anthem, because he prefers taking real action to improve race relations in each community, and that the anthem should draw us together toward our national ideals.

His radical view enraged fellow players on opposing teams.

“If Dak wants to be an Uncle Tom, a Trump lackey,” said one defensive back from another franchise, “Let’s see how he feels when he’s trying to play quarterback, but the entire defense takes a knee the whole time. No justice. No defense.”

 

Woodward Denies Writing ‘Fear’ Book to Help Trump

Share Button

(2018-08-01) — Celebrated Watergate reporter Bob Woodward this morning denied that he wrote his new book, “Fear: Trump in the White House,” to aid the president’s strategy of distraction and chaos.

“I’m a serious professional journalist,” Woodward alleged, “not a Trump lackey or a useful idiot helping him to stir up trivial chaos about personal stylistic quirks, and thus distracting the public from his quiet efforts to roll back regulations, to seed the courts with Constitutionalists, to cut taxes, and to project American strength abroad.”

According to reports, the Trump White House made no effort to “handle” Woodward during his research, and didn’t restrict his access, or monitor conversations with White House staff the way past administrations have.

“The failure of the White House to spoon-feed me, or to listen in and spin during interviews, demonstrates what I call a climate of fear that pervades this administration,” Woodward said. “Staffers chattered to me like magpies, and dished dirt, because they’re petrified of the president’s loyalty demands, of his power, and of his vindictive nature. It’s not because they’re playing me and my colleagues in the media like a fiddle.”

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said she hasn’t spoken with her boss about the book, but she’s sure Trump “thinks Bob Woodward is a total joke, and he would be glad to write a blurb for the dust jacket and promote it on Twitter.”

 

Trump Urges Twitter to Push Civility, Thought

Share Button

(2018-07-22) — President Donald Trump today called on Twitter to do more to promote thought, civility and nuanced discussions of culture, politics and public policy.

In a 5,000-word New York Times op-ed, the president proposed a variety of changes to the current short-form social media platform, that would…

  • increase the per-Tweet character limit to 270,340 to “promote deep thought, and careful exposition of ideas,”
  • allow a user to retract a Tweet when he realizes an error,
  • permit Tweeted corrections to reach all who saw the inaccurate original, and
  • introduce a 24-hour ‘cooling off period’ between composing and actually sending the Tweet.

“So often, when I Tweet, I long to fully flesh-out my ideas in a way that promotes civil dialogue, and avoids rash reactions or misunderstanding,” Trump wrote. “But the Twitter platform precludes the kind of introspection, depth of inquiry, and exposition, that foster reasoned discourse in a republic.”

 

Putin Groomed ‘Brilliant Double-Agent’ Trump

Share Button

(2018-07-20) — Sources in the Kremlin said today that former KGB agent Vladimir Putin began grooming young Donald Trump as an intel asset decades before either man became president.

“Young Putin met Trump by chance, but immediately recognized in him the cunning, genius, strategic thinking, tactical mastery, and discretion required to be a brilliant double-agent,” according to an unnamed source close to the Russian president.

The revelation, of course, presumes Trump was already in the pay of the CIA, and that Putin hoped he could be turned.

“Putin plied Trump with money, women, book and personal branding deals, and fame out-of-proportion to his accomplishments,” the Kremlin source said. “Trump lapped it up, but never let on that he had become part of a long game to be Putin’s White House puppet.”

The two allegedly conspired, decades in advance, to lay the groundwork for a successful Republican presidential campaign, by having Trump cheat on and abandon wives, dive into the gambling industry, donate generously to Democrats, and studiously avoid learning about matters of policy, governance, or conservatism.

”All of Putin’s careful work has come to fruition,” the anonymous source added, “with the almost-inevitable election of a man who slavishly obeys what he’s told, and never veers from the script written by his handlers.”

The shocking revelation explains Trump’s obsequious news conference after the Helsinki summit last week, and makes his impeachment and conviction nearly as certain as Hillary Clinton’s 2016 election victory.

 

Duped: Sacha Baron Cohen Apes Strzok at Hearings

Share Button

(2018-07-13) — Comic actor and prankster Sacha Baron Cohen admitted today that he appeared this week before the House Judiciary and Oversight Committees disguised as FBI agent Peter Strzok, sparking several chaotic confrontations, but leaving Congressmen none the wiser.

“We were duped,” said Rep. Trey Gowdy, after learning that the hearing was nothing but an elaborate prank to be played for laughs in Cohen’s upcoming CBS-Showtime series.

In recent days, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, former Judge Roy Moore, and former Vice President Dick Cheney have all learned they were victims of Cohen’s masquerade. But appearing before a Congressional panel may be the crown jewel among Cohen’s outlandish pranks.

“We really thought we were grilling Peter Strzok,” Gowdy said, “when in fact we were talking to a fraud, a liar, and a poseur who will do anything to humiliate Republicans, and to advance his agenda.”

 

Justice Kennedy to Step Down, Remain on Court

Share Button

(2018-06-28) — The Reagan Supreme Court appointee, who often served as a swing vote on landmark cases involving abortion and gay rights, Associate Justice Anthony Kennedy, announced Wednesday he would step down, and also remain on the Supreme Court.

“The desire to spend more time with family compels me to resign my lifetime appointment, though death tarries,” Kennedy, 82, wrote to President Trump. “At the same time, my duty to my country and to the Constitution compels me to stay, depriving my family of my presence. I shall do both, so help me God.”

Kennedy, a lifelong registered Republican, often drew the ire of his own partisans by siding with Left-wing justices and casting the deciding vote on key cases that changed course of the nation.

“I am who I am, and who I am not,” Kennedy told Trump. “My place at this stage in life is at home, and on the Court, and that’s neither here nor there.”