Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

Ocasio-Cortez Returns Campaign Funds to ‘Catcallers’

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(2018-08-11) — After accusing pundit Ben Shapiro of ‘catcalling’ when he offered her campaign $10,000 if she would sit down for an interview with him, New York Congressional candidate Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez today announced she would return all campaign funds to any donor who expected her to do anything.

“Ben Shapiro catcalled me because he wants something,” said Ocasio-Cortez, a self-described Democratic-Socialist. “I suddenly realized that every campaign donor also wants something. They want me to sponsor legislation, to speak out, or even to win the election. They’re virtually hollering, ‘Hey, Baby, can I get some of that action?’. That’s simply unacceptable. This is my #MeToo moment, and I won’t be manipulated any more.”

Shapiro, a founder of The Daily Wire, shocked America when he posted a video to Twitter inviting Ocasio-Cortez to have a conversation about what she believes, or even a debate for charity if she prefers. The clearly-sexist effort to ‘mansplain’ his political ideology to a vulnerable woman, triggered a social media avalanche, which means that what he did was wrong and Shapiro should apologize.

 

Alex Jones Threat Spurs Facebook ‘Don’t Click’ Button

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(2018-08-07) — To combat the threat of internet hate-speech from Alex Jones and others, Facebook, Apple, and YouTube, among other social media platforms, today announced a new “Don’t Click” button. The feature will offer “another option” to users who feel compelled to watch or listen to hate speech and other material that “violates community standards.”

The new option comes after many social media platforms this week announced the removal of Alex Jones’ InfoWars pages, videos and podcasts as a way to “pro-actively protect Americans from unpopular ideas.” Jones’ reckless violation of “community standards” spurred action by the democratically-elected Social Media Standards Councils in thousands of communities worldwide, which then rose as one to order the Joint Community Standards Enforcement Brigade to remove and ban Jones’ content.

The communities then realized the scope of the threat, since Alex Jones does not hold a monopoly on unpopular ideas.

The global consortium of standards councils formed a joint committee to investigate alternatives that would “protect users from seeing or hearing things with which they disagree, things that are wrong, or things that inspire bad feelings.”

“Then it hit us,” said a member of the committee. “All of the complaints came from people who didn’t like Alex Jones, disagreed with his opinions, and didn’t want to watch him. If people could simply click a ‘Don’t Click’ button, they’d have a way out. They wouldn’t have to watch things they don’t want to watch.”

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NFL Players to Kneel Over Cowboys QB Anthem Stand

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(2018-08-02) — NFL players plan to protest Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott’s recent remarks about the National Anthem by kneeling every time Prescott takes the field, according to sources in the players’ union.

The Dallas quarterback stirred controversy by saying that, though he, too, opposes racial injustice in the U.S., he will not protest during the anthem, because he prefers taking real action to improve race relations in each community, and that the anthem should draw us together toward our national ideals.

His radical view enraged fellow players on opposing teams.

“If Dak wants to be an Uncle Tom, a Trump lackey,” said one defensive back from another franchise, “Let’s see how he feels when he’s trying to play quarterback, but the entire defense takes a knee the whole time. No justice. No defense.”

 

Woodward Denies Writing ‘Fear’ Book to Help Trump

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(2018-08-01) — Celebrated Watergate reporter Bob Woodward this morning denied that he wrote his new book, “Fear: Trump in the White House,” to aid the president’s strategy of distraction and chaos.

“I’m a serious professional journalist,” Woodward alleged, “not a Trump lackey or a useful idiot helping him to stir up trivial chaos about personal stylistic quirks, and thus distracting the public from his quiet efforts to roll back regulations, to seed the courts with Constitutionalists, to cut taxes, and to project American strength abroad.”

According to reports, the Trump White House made no effort to “handle” Woodward during his research, and didn’t restrict his access, or monitor conversations with White House staff the way past administrations have.

“The failure of the White House to spoon-feed me, or to listen in and spin during interviews, demonstrates what I call a climate of fear that pervades this administration,” Woodward said. “Staffers chattered to me like magpies, and dished dirt, because they’re petrified of the president’s loyalty demands, of his power, and of his vindictive nature. It’s not because they’re playing me and my colleagues in the media like a fiddle.”

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said she hasn’t spoken with her boss about the book, but she’s sure Trump “thinks Bob Woodward is a total joke, and he would be glad to write a blurb for the dust jacket and promote it on Twitter.”

 

‘Bad Actors’ Ban to Shut Down Facebook by 2019

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(2018-08-01) — As Facebook announced it had eliminated 32 pages engaged in what it called “coordinated inauthentic behavior,” a spokesman said the firm is committed to remove all inauthentic content by “bad actors,” and thus to completely shut down the social media platform by late 2019.

“Whoever set up these now-defunct accounts went to great lengths to obscure their true identies,” the Facebook spokesman said. “During our probe, we discovered it’s not just Russian agents abusing the platform that way. Facebook is riddled with bad actors pretending to be someone they’re not, clogging the service with inauthentic content aimed at making others think more highly of them than they ought.”

The inaccurate picture of real life manufactured by the vast majority of Facebook users stokes envy, acrimony and division, the source said. For the good of humanity, the company decided to shut down all such accounts.

“In the beginning, we just wanted a place for people to connect and strengthen relationships,” he said, “but our users, not to mention our advertisers, have turned Facebook into a cesspool of phoniness, staged photos, and inaccurate descriptions of daily life that make other people feel inadequate.”

 

Streep to Receive Emmy Award for Golden Globes Role

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Meryl Streep (on right) in a file photo as she portrays a young Meryl Streep (left).

Meryl Streep, seen here in two file photos that span her long career. On the right, Streep in 1972, and on the left, what she looks like today.

(2017-01-09) — Hollywood legend Meryl Streep is now the odds-on favorite to receive the Emmy for Best Comic Actress in a Variety Show after her hilarious performance brought the house down at last night’s Golden Globe Awards.

Streep, whose Hollywood career has spanned some seventeen decades, became an Emmy shoo-in for her sharply-satirical portrayal of an aging, wealthy white woman, who lives in opulent splendor behind a security cordon, as she denigrates an elderly, wealthy white man for his failure to show respect to others.

The Hollywood Reporter said Streep’s performance, “Dripped with deliciously-rich irony.”

Variety gushed that, “Streep earned a permanent pedestal in the pantheon of comic pathos, reminding us all of the original Greek word for ‘acting behind a mask’: hypokritḗs.”

 

Sony Co-Chair Pascal Apologizes to Jolie for Email Slur

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Sony co-chair Amy Pascal with Angelina Jolie

Sony co-chair Amy Pascal apologizes to Angelina Jolie for slurs in recently-leaked private emails.

 

YouTube Commenter Watches Video Before Posting

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YouTube commenter

A YouTube commenter was surprised to learn this week that YouTube offers video content, along with his personal blogging platform, when he inadvertently triggered a video and watched it all of the way through.

(2014-12-12) — In a nearly unprecedented act, a user at YouTube.com watched a three-and-a-half minute political video all of the way through before posting his thoughts about the subject in the comment section below.

“Normally, I just skim the headline and then let ‘er rip,” said the YouTube commenter, “But this time I accidentally hit the play button on my iPad, and then, for some reason, watched the whole thing.”

While he said that “3:26 seems like an eternity when you’re waiting to post your opinion,” he acknowledged that he would have written a much different comment had he not actually watched the video.

“The main purpose of YouTube, I’ve always thought, is to give me a chance to let the world read what I think,” he said. “It turns out that YouTube also offers a platform for ideas and entertainment in video form, in addition to providing a blog space for me.”

Asked if the experience might inspire him to watch more videos in their entirety before commenting, the man said, “Not intentionally.”

 

If EU Vote Succeeds, Google to Split into Two Firms

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(2014-11-24) — Increasing worries about anti-competitive American dominance of the internet have driven the European Union (EU) to vote on a motion to break up Google. The symbolic, but morally significant, vote could come as early as Thursday.

If the vote succeeds, Google says it will comply “to maintain European goodwill and to avoid being evil,” by splitting into publicly-traded entities named ‘Go’ and ‘ogle.’

‘Go’ will be the “action service,” aimed at those who use the internet to run a business, or to conduct academic research. ‘ogle’ will handle the other 99 percent of Internet traffic, largely pornography.

google Breakup

Google says if Thursday’s EU breakup vote succeeds, it will split into two firms named ‘Go’ and ‘ogle’.

 

Obama: If I Had a 2nd Son, He’d Look Like Ray Rice

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Obama and Ray Rice

In happier times, President Obama is shown in this file photo playfully tickling Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice, who reminds Obama of the second son he never had.

(2014-09-08) — In another effort to fulfill his campaign promise to connect personally with the everyday lives of Americans, President Barack Obama identified with Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice, who was fired today after new video showed him punching his former fiancé in the face, knocking her out in an elevator in February.

“If I had a second son, shortly after the one who looked like Trayvon Martin,” Obama said, “he’d look like Ray Rice. And so, this story, like most stories in the news, is deeply personal to me.”

A White House spokesman clarified that “The president does not actually have a second son, mostly because he and the First Lady never had a first son. Like many Americans, they agreed to a ‘conscious uncoupling’ after they noticed how much waste and greenhouse gas their two daughters generated.”

The president said he has already dispatched Attorney General Eric Holder to Baltimore to keep the peace, and to make sure that the white team owner and white NFL Commissioner have not violated anybody’s civil rights by ending Rice’s $40 million contract and suspending him from the league.

Upon arrival in Baltimore, Holder told a crowd at a local barbershop that he remembered a time when he was detained for no other reason than REWB — Riding an Elevator While Black.