Police Reach Deal with NFL Anthem Protestors

(2018-08-18) — In an agreement worked out late Saturday night, police unions across the United States agreed to stop hunting, shooting and gratuitously detaining and roughing-up black people, while NFL Players Union members agreed to stand respectfully during the national anthem, starting with Sunday’s games.

Police said they “buckled under the tremendous moral pressure brought to bear by pro football players kneeling or raising a fist during the anthem.”

“Until recently, most police officers, regardless of color, felt it was acceptable to shoot black people whether they posed a threat or not,” said a police spokesman. “But then the kneeling ballplayers started a national conversation, and the guys in the precincts got woke, and decided to obey the law…but only if players would respect the anthem.”

The landmark deal brings down the curtain on the most tumultous and tragic epoch in American civil rights history.

With the end so-called blue-on-black violence, protesting NFL players said they’re excited they can stand again, and proudly sing the anthem of the land they love.

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