Archive for August 14th, 2018

Charlottesville Rally Bust Made White Man Feel Blue

(2018-08-14) — After a white supremacist anniversary rally in Charlottesville, Va., turned out to be a bust, one participant said he’ll return to full-time internet trolling, but added that he feels “a little blue, and that’s a color I can’t stand either.”

The unnamed racist said he had a great time at the 2017 “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, an event capped by one man’s celebratory “Ramming of the Crowd.”

However, this year’s event failed to attract more than a handful of white nationalists, who were vastly outnumbered by Antifa, so-called anti-fascist counter-protestors.

“From what we’ve seen online, we assumed our Mighty Whitey movement was huge and growing,” the racist said. “As it turns out, it was merely a handful of Kommitted Keyboard Kowards, and the repeated media coverage a few devoted brothers that gave us that impression.”

The white racist said he felt lonely and adrift, and that he might soon make a career move.

“I’m might go full Antifa,” the self-proclaimed bigot said, “if only for the fellowship, the chance to feel anonymously special, and to be the tough guy that my internet comments imply that I am.”

Asked why a committed white racist would switch teams, he said, “White hood or black hoodie: It’s all the same to me. Plus, Antifa actually backs up its tough talk with real violence. Hurting people and damaging property is not a rare phenomenon with Antifa — it’s who they are. I saw them roughing up reporters, and frankly got a little jealous. That’s how bigotry and hatred is supposed to look.”

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