Archive for July 27th, 2018

Facebook Plunges On News Nobody Cares About You

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(2018-07-27) — Facebook’s historic $148 billion stock value plunge this week happened, according to Wall Street analysts, because nobody really cares about you.

“Facebook’s entire business model is predicated on monetizing empathy,” said one stock researcher, “but people are agnostic, at best, about your condition, behavior and future prospects. Facebook represents a fundamental misunderstanding of human nature.”

The latest market analysis shows that nobody cares what you eat, where you go, what you think, or who you’re with. They don’t want to play games with you, answer your rhetorical-question polls, buck you up when you troll for compliments, or get sucked into the negative-feedback loop of your insignificant existence.

In fact, for the average user, 93 percent of time spent on Facebook is devoted to reviewing self-posted material, often wondering why nobody seems to care.

“Facebook has been sold to advertisers and investors as an entertaining, engaging social media platform,” the unnamed analyst said. “That only works if you’re interesting. The data are in, and you’re not.”

 

Judge: Medicaid Must Also Cover Race Reassignment

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(2018-07-27) — Just a day after a federal judge ordered Wisconsin to use Medicaid money to fund sex-reassignment surgery for patients suffering “gender dysphoria”, another court said the same about race-reassignment procedures and therapies.

Both decisions aim to force the federal healthcare program for the poor, which is administered by the states, into compliance with the Affordable Care Act — the act formerly known as Obamacare.

Pigment dysphoria is a crippling condition that sets people at odds with their own visual, cultural and historical identification, according to experts. It can make a light-skinned woman who identifies as dark-skinned, for example, feel like a person without a racially-motivated social group. The condition is universal, afflicting all persons without regard to race, sex, or political affiliation.

Victims of pigment dysphoria often face accusations of “ethnic appropriation” for listening to music, styling hair, eating food, dating partners, or employing slang, which should be the sole province of another racial group. In extreme cases, pigment dysphoria patients even vote for the wrong candidates, according to the medical literature.

Under the terms of the court ruling, taxpayers will now provide these traumatized victims with pigment-reversion therapy, to change the skin to the color it should be, as well as with counseling and coaching to ensure the newly tinted or bleached person “doesn’t come off as a caricature,” thus facing rejection from his new pigment peers.

“Our primitive ancestors would have treated pigment dysphoria as a mental illness, or even as a mild annoyance,” the federal judge wrote. “We now know that it’s a legitimate, often dire, condition, which can be treated with government-mediated cash-reassignment therapy.”