Poll: Ted Cruz Badly Trails Imaginary Ideal Republican

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Ted Cruz trails ideal imaginary Republican candidate

Presidential hopeful Ted Cruz takes news of the latest poll stoically, as he learns that he’s lagging the ideal imaginary Republican candidate by 37 points.

(2015-03-23) – – Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), the first announced contender in the 2016 presidential race, already lags behind the ideal imaginary Republican candidate by what may prove to be an insurmountable margin.

The latest Politico-Purist poll shows Cruz trailing 37 points behind any single voter’s fictional aggregation of highly-desired traits and principles, just nine months before the start of GOP primary season.

The idiosyncratic ideal candidate, while non-existent, may yet play a spoiler role.

“No actual politician can measure up to the qualifications of any person’s dream candidate,” said an unnamed professor at Purist U., which conducted the poll. “In addition, no 2016 hopeful has yet arisen who’s so utterly devoid of personal baggage as the ideal is. Being a figment has its benefits.”

A spokesman for the Cruz campaign pointed out that while “the Purist poll results show we have a lot of work to do, Ted draws encouragement from the fact that Republicans have a long, reliable track record of failing to nominate the ideal candidate.”

 

 

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