Archive for January 16th, 2015

Obamacare Official to Quit if Resign.gov Ever Works

Resign.gov

Resign.gov as it appeared when Marilyn Tavenner, who oversaw the Healthcare.gov rollout, tried to access it to process her resignation from the Obama administration.

(2015-01-16) — Marilyn Tavenner, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services official who oversaw the launch of HealthCare.gov, announced today that she would resign from the Obama administration, “just as soon as I can actually log on to Resign.gov.”

A spokesman for the federal government’s human resources department said they’ve just rolled out a new resignation system that will make it faster and easier for federal employees to end their careers “with a few clicks of the mouse.” However, the system has “a few minor glitches that we’re working through.”

Tavenner said that at first Resign.gov would not let her create an account, and then it said she was in a “waiting room” and should check back often. Eventually, she was allowed to enter information, but then the system didn’t recognize her.

“It’s really frustrating,” Tavenner said. “I can’t even find out what my retirement benefits are without entering my life story, and I can’t even do that because the system’s locked up and I can’t log in.”

Yesterday, Resign.gov was taken down for maintenance after it unexpectedly got deluged with as many as 13 simultaneous users.

 

 

Archeologists Unearth Trove of Muhammed Selfies

Muhammed Selfie unearthed near Mecca

One of a collection of papyrus selfies by Muhammed, the Prophet of Islam, recently discovered near Mecca. Experts date the work sometime during the transition between the era of duck-lip selfies, and the birth of the fish face.

(2015-01-16) — Archeologists digging near Mecca in Saudi Arabia say they have uncovered a large collection of 7th century self-portraits of the Prophet Muhammed.

The ink-on-papyrus selfies have sparked an outcry among jihadis in Qaeda and the Islamic State. Several imams have issued a joint fatwa against “the artist who created the self-portraits of the Prophet of Islam (peace be upon him).”

“Under Sharia, no one has the right to blaspheme the Prophet of Islam (peace be upon him) by rendering his image,” according to the text of the fatwa, which was released in a series of 617 tweets early this morning. “Brothers of the ummah (Muslim community) are directed to seize the self-portraitist by the beard and separate his head from his blaspheming body.”

Although the Associated Press released several images of the Muhammed selfies to its affiliated news organizations around the world, The New York Times issued a today statement that “the discovery of the ancient self-portraits of the Prophet of Islam (peace be upon him) is not newsworthy (peace be upon us).”

The White House also released remarks from President Obama who said, “The past must not belong to those who slander the Prophet of Islam (salla Allahu Alay wa Salam).”