(2014-06-24) — Despite a widely-circulated story to the contrary, President Barack Obama was not asked to leave a KFC restaurant due to “hideously ugly” executive actions he has taken recently.
“We did not ask the president to vacate the premises,” the KFC night manager said. “We serve anyone here, and never discriminate on the basis of repugnant policies, or the unconstitutional methods through which they might be implemented.”
The KFC official added that they could “neither confirm nor deny that Obama had dined at this location.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Chipotle,” she said. “I heard they kicked Obama out of there when he reached over the sneeze shield and contaminated a whole batch of refried beans.”
President Obama offered no comment on the Chipotle controversy, noting that he “just heard about it on the news, like most Americans.”