Archive for January 20th, 2014

Obama Downplays Talk of His Own National Holiday

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Obama speaks on MLK day

President Obama speaks in front of a giant American flag-draped statue of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., commemorating the civil rights leader with an historic speech about King’s role in the Obama legacy.

(2014-01-20) — In a holiday ceremony to commemorate the life of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., President Obama spoke of the “fairly significant role” Dr. King played in the run up to his own historic presidency, but humbly downplayed potential talk of an Obama national holiday.

“Dr. King had a dream,” Obama told the countless dozens of spectators in attendance. “Many think that dream was fulfilled at my swearing-in ceremony. Others believe my reelection was the zenith of the civil rights movement. Debating that question is above my pay grade, but I do think it’s too early to pick a specific date for the Barack Obama national holiday.”

Nevertheless, Obama noted in passing that his August 4th birthday “falls nicely between Independence Day and Labor Day.”

In a prepared speech, delivered from a temporary platform a few feet above the head of the King statue near the National Mall, Obama also counseled “watchful patience” with the slow pace of work at the National Park Service in planning the Obama head on Mt. Rushmore.

“It may be a simple matter of geological engineering challenges,” Obama said, “but we can’t rule out that it’s part of the ongoing struggle for which Dr. King gave his life. Do not fear. We shall overcome.”

After the ceremony, the Park Service said it had already begun to bronze the platform to commemorate the historic Obama speech.

Obama’s Marijuana ‘Less Dangerous’ Remark Clarified

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Obama smoking

The White House clarified the president’s suggestion that smoking pot is “less dangerous” than drinking alcohol, by releasing a list of potentially-harmful long-term side effects, which it soon retracted. Asked later to comment on the mixed message, Obama said, “What?”.

(2014-01-20) — A recent New Yorker interview with President Obama has left parents struggling to explain to their children why they should not smoke marijuana, as it becomes legal in more and more states.

In the interview, Obama said marijuana use was “less dangerous” than alcohol “in terms of its impact on the individual consumer.”

In an effort to clarify, the White House this morning released a list of potentially-negative side effects of the drug Obama admits he used in his youth.

“The president doesn’t want to give the impression that his historic experimentation with marijuana implies he condones it for young people,” said White House press secretary Jay Carney. “He has told his own daughters he thinks it’s a ‘bad habit,’ and has said that if he had a son who looked like Trayvon Martin, he would counsel his boy that pot smoking is ‘a waste of time,’ and ‘not very healthy.'”

Critics suggested the president was less than clear and forceful, so this morning the White House released the following list of potentially harmful long-term side-effects of recreational marijuana usage.

“President Obama wants American kids to know that frequent marijuana usage can lead to…

  • Lethargic reactions to dangerous situations behind the wheel or when your consulate is attacked.
  • Feelings of immortality, omniscience and omnipotence, leading to attempts to “do the impossible,” or take over entire economic sectors.
  • Cravings for foods that are on the First Lady’s ‘no-no list’
  • ‘Running with the wrong crowd,’ including petty law-breakers, communist dictators, Islamist warlords and even political consultants.
  • Irresistible urges to flee responsibility, and spend countless hours at places where there’s ‘lots of grass’.
  • Inattention to detail in written instructions, like laws or the U.S. Constitution.”

The White House retracted the list later in the morning, noting that the president didn’t recall approving its release.