Higgs Boson Found, But Some Angry at God Particle

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Higgs Boson likely discovered at Europe's Large Hardon Collider

Scientists urge the public to simply accept the existence of the Higgs Boson — the God particle — but not to blame it for “all the terrible stuff that happens to you. Most of that is your fault, or caused by jerks.”

Scientists from Europe’s Large Hadron Collider Thursday announced a high degree of certainty that they have discovered the elusive Higgs Boson, the so-called God particle, but not everyone believes, and many are angry at it.

While the news was greeted with joy by many scientists around the world, others expressed rage, disappointment and bitterness toward the God particle.

“What has the God particle ever done for me?” said one physics grad student at MIT. “If it does exist, but doesn’t care enough to fix my messed up life, what good is it?”

Others were even more harsh in their reaction, accusing the Higgs Boson of actively working to scuttle their plans, to close doors of opportunity and to cheat them out of satisfying romantic relationships.

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5 Responses to “Higgs Boson Found, But Some Angry at God Particle”

  1. justcallmeshelly says:

    You sure can pick them Scott. Now I would have never known someone discovered the God factor if I did not read Scrappleface

  2. prettyolder says:

    The CNN story sounds like satire:”Detecting the Higgs boson takes a lot of particle collisions — there’s only one observed event in every trillion proton-proton collisions, CERN said.”Another “Scientist” sounded like UnRev Wright when he said”They call it the God Particle ,I call it the God D—ed Particle.”They have to make everything so hard. If they would just admit God created the earth and everthing in and on it ,it is so simple .

  3. Bunny says:

    ROTFL!:D Love it, Scott! You have captured the true essence of the attitudes of the self-serving and petulantly narcissistic:

    ““What has the God particle ever done for me?” said one physics grad student at MIT. “If it does exist, but doesn’t care enough to fix my messed up life, what good is it?”” And then there is THIS priceless gem: “Others were even more harsh in their reaction, accusing the Higgs Boson of actively working to scuttle their plans, to close doors of opportunity and to cheat them out of satisfying romantic relationships.”

    LOL! HOW DARE that “God particle” interfere with the “best laid plans of mice and men”? Darn that Higgs Boson, anyhow! Doesn’t that particle KNOW WHO I AM, and how important MY plans are?

    LOL! Brilliant and spot-on observation of those who ignore God’s plan in favor of their own agendas.

  4. upnorthlurkin says:

    Our friend OnLineAnalyst sent me a link yesterday to a Cornell University Ornithology video of “The Birds of Paradise”. My husband’s comment was, “Anyone seeing those birds and NOT believing they were created by God is nuts.” You’re right PO, we’ve known it all along so I guess that makes us the smart ones!! Ha!

  5. mzk says:

    I have heard that the original phrase is “that G-d-D-m-d particle”.

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