Obama May Pick ‘Sunny Susan’ Rice as Security Adviser

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Obama May Pick Susan Rice as National Security Adviser

‘Sunny Susan’ Rice seen in this file photo after Republicans effectively ended her prospects for the Secretary of State nomination. She told associates it happened, “Because they were afraid they’d never find another U.N. Ambassador as terrific as me.”

U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, looks like the top candidate to become President Obama’s National Security Adviser, according to The Washington Post, because Obama likes her positive, “sunny” approach to global affairs.

Republicans effectively blocked Rice’s appointment as Secretary of State after she made a talkshow tour claiming the deadly embassy attack in Benghazi, Libya, was a mere anti-American protest that got out of hand, rather than a coordinated Muslim terrorist attack.

Since then, from her post at the United Nations, Rice has quietly kept the president informed about world events, including notifying Obama that…

  • North Korean nuclear detonation tests were really just Mentos and Diet Coke experiments that got out of hand.
  • Syrian president Bashar Assad’s brutal crackdown in dissident rebels is, in fact, an attempt by Assad to put rebels in ‘time out’, that went awry, and
  • Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez will soon recover from his battle with mortality, so he can resume his campaign to restore individual liberty, integrity and democracy to his people.

The White House has also received assurances that as National Security Adviser, Rice would not use global crises where American lives are in jeopardy as an excuse to spoil Obama’s “downtime.”

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9 Responses to “Obama May Pick ‘Sunny Susan’ Rice as Security Adviser”

  1. Hawkeye says:

    Shhhhh! Obama is about to tee off on the 7th.

    (:D) Best regards…

  2. upnorthlurkin says:

    Longtime no see! Hi Scott, hi, Hawkeye!

  3. upnorthlurkin says:

    I meant to add “Elections have consequences!”

  4. mindknumbed kid says:

    North Korea is said to be concerned about the citizens there learning that there are Mentos and Coke within the borders of their country, fearing Lil’ Kim will have to put his constituents in a time out as well…I also have heard that in order to negate the awful effects of mortality the folks in Venezuela are considering using that same concoction to embalm Hugo, perhaps with the addition of a mystery ingredient (rumored to be Viagra). They say that if they manage to get him up it is also imperative that they keep him up…film at 11.

  5. Hawkeye says:

    Hi Sandy!

    (:D) Best regards…

  6. Hawkeye says:

    Ooops. Make that “Sandi”. My bad.

    (:D) Best regards…

  7. Hawkeye says:

    MKK,

    Why worry about Viagra when you’ve got Rigormortis in your favor?

    (:D) Best regards…

  8. justcallmeshelly says:

    Funny. Do you think now that Scrappleface is back perhaps there is a chance that Mad Magazine and Cracked can also return. Just sayin’ after all Why Me Worry?

  9. Hawkeye says:

    Hi Shelly,

    Good to hear from ya!

    (:D) Best regards…