(2003-04-30) — Former U.S. President Bill Clinton continued his quiet diplomacy on behalf of his beloved country this week, travelling to Mexico to meet with President Vicente Fox.
There he gently suggested that, “All Americans pray for our troops and thank God for the magnificent victory which freed the Iraqi people from decades of tyranny [...]

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(2003-04-20) — A new spam scam making the rounds via email is duping less-than-savvy net surfers into sending thousands of dollars worth of cigarettes to inmates in a Virginia prison.
The email starts…
Dear sir
We wish to solicit your assistance to provide us with a solution to a money transfer of Thirty nine Million United States Dollars. [...]

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(2003094-30) — A spokesman for the National Association for the Advancement of White Males (NAAWM) said that, thanks to the Iraq war, white male dominance is back and better than ever.
“We agree with Norman Mailer that white males really needed this war,” said an unnamed NAAWM spokesman. “We had lost our cushy jobs, watched our [...]

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(2003-04-29) — French President Jacques Chirac said the new European Union Army would operate according to his doctrine of ‘post-emption’.
Trying to counterbalance the United States’ monopolar power, the EU Army will stand ready to post-empt any use of weapons of mass destruction by rogue regimes.
Mr. Chirac’s doctrine of post-emption calls for slow, but steady deployment [...]

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(2003-04-29) — Homeland Security Agents and Washington D.C. hazardous-materials crews were dispatched to the Capitol late today when a small piece of paper stained with a mysterious green fluid was discovered on the floor.

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(2003-04-29) — Academics around the nation began a wave of protests against belt-tightening in state and federal education budgets, saying the funding cuts would threaten America’s most valuable intellectual pursuit — high school football.
Thousands of government-funded football franchises nationwide could shut down, shattering the dreams of parents who now live vicariously through the athletic accomplishments [...]

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(2003-04-29) — Syria announced today that it had won the bid to host the 2004 Islamic Martyr Games. The quadrennial competition brings together devoted pilgrims from throughout the Muslim world for 10 days of “intense competition.”
“We are delighted to again sponsor these great games,” said Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Buthaina Shaaban. “It is, how do you [...]

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