Obama Demands Action on Temperature Inequality

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Temperature Inequality Map

President Obama said he’ll “focus like a laser” for the remainder of his term on “closing the vast gulf between warmest and coldest.” Temperature inequality, as shown on this map, reached 127 degrees in recent days.

(2013-01-06) — The growing gap between warmest and coldest is “the penultimate defining challenge of our age,” President Obama announced just hours after returning to Washington D.C. following a two-week vacation in Hawaii.

“If Congress will not move to stop temperature inequality,” Obama said, “then I will. Living in one of the more advanced nations in North America, we can’t wait for the end of partisan bickering to pass sensible regulations.”

Moments after stepping off of Marine One at the White House, the president said “there’s no time for delay, because the thermal gap has grown noticeably even in the past couple of days.”

First Lady Michelle Obama, who remained in Hawaii while her husband and daughters returned to the east coast, noted that temperature inequality has impacted average Americans’ relationships, making distant family members grow cold.

While some scientists questioned whether the gap has grown, and whether legislation can do anything about it, the White House said those researchers lack credibility “because they don’t receive federal grants very soon.”

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5 Responses to “Obama Demands Action on Temperature Inequality”

  1. upnorthlurkin says:

    I see you “Still got it”, young man! I’ve missed your brilliant satire.

  2. prettyolder says:

    Help !! I am here in Wisconsin , it is – 11 Degrees. I believed Algore and 0bama when they promised Global Warming (sob) . Now I feel like such a fool, a cold fool. Why did they have to lie? Waaaahhhhh!

  3. Hawkeye says:

    You’re TOO Funny Scott! Today’s low here in Middle TN was about 3F (at 7am when I was working outside) and the high was about 13F (when I went to lunch). I guess that puts me in the “lower middle class” of temperature inequality versus the “upper class” 70s of Obama’s Hawaii vacation. Obama needs to “spread the wealth” and bring some of that hot air here to TN. :)

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