Facebook Redesign Mimics Newspaper, Delivered Daily

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Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced yesterday that the social site’s new interface will look more like a newspaper, in response to user nostalgia over the papers they no longer subscribe to at home.

“Not only will it look like a newspaper,” said Zuckerberg, “but starting next week, Facebook will be delivered to you once each day.”

The young billionaire predicted that daily Facebook delivery would increase GDP in the U.S. and other nations by up to 11 percent, since the current 24/7 non-stop streaming interface is “an addictive, soul-sapping time-suck that kills worker productivity.”

Zuckerberg said users of the Facebook mobile app — for iDevices and Android — will soon get “the most realistic newspaper experience ever” when the firm rolls out its “virtual ink” version, with type that actually rubs off on your fingers when you swipe the screen.

Facebook to Mimic Newspaper

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said people miss the newspapers they cancelled years ago, so he’s changing the social site’s interface to be more “Victorian.”

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6 Responses to “Facebook Redesign Mimics Newspaper, Delivered Daily”

  1. Bunny says:

    This is hilarious, Scott! I shared the link to Facebook. If this were true, there would be mass “withdrawal symptoms” due to this alone: “Not only will it look like a newspaper,” said Zuckerberg, “but starting next week, Facebook will be delivered to you once each day.” Those addicted to FB would have to go into rehab. ;-)

  2. Hawkeye says:

    “with type that actually rubs off on your fingers when you swipe the screen.”

    Oh, I was wondering what that was. I think the New York Times website already invented that. Or… maybe that was something else oozing out of the screen. Hmmmm.

    (:D) Best regards…

  3. Oh my gosh!! It’s my old gang and another funny piece from ol’ Scott. Yayyy. Scott, regarding the statement: “with type that actually rubs off on your fingers when you swipe the screen,” do you reckon that it will work with Silly Putty like in the old days?!!

  4. justcallmeshelly says:

    will it be printed in half tone–you know where those itty-bitty dots will become a real face, like in a Facebook. Oh forget it.

    Perhaps this will create a whole new generation of high school print shop rats. Remember back in the day you could always tell them because the had dirty hands

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